menolly_au

Title: House's Second Phone Call
Characters : Wilson & House
Rating: PG
Disclaimer - They don't belong to me

Summary - A totally tongue-in-cheek and crack fic to go with the Season 6 premiere. I loved it but this came to me. Not to be taken seriously. House makes another phone call to Wilson.

Spoilers - For 6.1 & 6.2 - Broken

"House? "

"I wasn’t expecting anyone else, its midnight, I was...sleeping."

"I’m not out of breath... House did you just call to discuss my breathing patterns?"

"You’re coming home, that’s great."

"I am pleased House. That’s great news, you must be doing well."

"Pick you up? It’s a long trip to Mayfield House, you know I picked somewhere in the middle of nowhere for that reason, so no-one would feel they have to come visit you. At least I made sure there was a carnival nearby for unexpected field trips and a hot and fairly clueless woman for you to make out with."

"No, I don’t expect you to walk home, there’s a bus stop right there, outside the hospital. Its only a short walk away, its not like you are a cripple with a heavy bag to carry or anything."

"There is, they’ve shown it in every promo. It’s like a loaded gun, if they didn’t want you to use it they wouldn’t have put it there."

"Yes, I know you have had a traumatic bus crash only a year ago and aren’t totally comfortable catching another one. Think of it as symbolic. You can even sit on the back seat all by yourself this time, people won’t miss the meaning of that. Just to be sure why don’t you wear that t-shirt with the smiley face that I packed for you?"

"Look House, I have to go. You’ll be fine. "

"Night House. "

(phone hangs up)

"Lisa, I’m just coming...."

"Who was that on the phone? Oh, no-one, just a wrong number...Now, where were we?"