menolly_au: (Dog with hat)
[personal profile] menolly_au
Title: Who Let the Dogs Out?
Characters: House & Wilson
Rating: PG (for a swear word)
Words: 500
Warnings: Shameless promotion of a Sick!Wilson event.
Genre: Cracky meta-fic
Summary: Wilson's having a nice quiet summer so far, but that's about to change...
Wilson's Health Status Cancer? What cancer?

Wilson smiled as he sat back with his fishing rod and lazily watched the surface of the lake. It was a perfect summer's day. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, and all was right with his world.

"Isn't this great, House? It's July already and nothing bad has happened to me. For once in my life I'm going to have a normal, peaceful, summer - just like everybody else. They've finally given up."

House took a long gulp of his beer. Yeah, it was freakin' fantastic. Long hot endless days of doing nothing, without even the hint of an injury to Wilson to entertain him. The man hadn't even had a cold. Wonderful. Where the hell was everyone? Watching fucking Teen Wolf?

"It's so quiet here," Wilson added, his face conveying just how happy that made him.

"Yeah, it's quiet - too quiet," House added ominously.

The complacent expression dropped from Wilson's face and then he waggled his finger at House.

"Oh ho, no, no, no. Don't start that. There's nothing mysterious going on here. Nothing's going to happen. There aren't any crocodiles hiding in the lake. No colonies of bees about to launch a sneak attack from the trees. There are no bears in the woods, or snakes in the grass. I'm not going to be hit by lightning, get sunburnt, fall out of a boat, be trampled by a horde of boy scouts, or chased by a coyote. Not this year ."

"If you say so."

Wilson nodded emphatically. "I do. Now, I'm going to have a little sleep, here by this quiet little lake, where absolutely nothing is going to happen to me."

He lay back on their picnic rug and closed his eyes. House endured a few minutes of Wilson-less boredom and was thinking about joining him in pleasant oblivion when he heard a rustling in the nearby trees. As he watched a dog ran out, followed by another one and then another one. Soon a pack of dogs was running between them and the lake and the air was split by their raucous barking. They ran across the clearing and then disappeared into the undergrowth on the other side.

"What the hell was that?" Wilson asked, sitting back up, his eyes wide. "Did you see that? What were they?"

House smiled slowly. "I believe those were the Dog Days of Summer."

"What? What is that even supposed to mean?"

"I think..." House stopped and listened carefully. Yes, he could just about hear it. The soft chatter of fingers on keyboards, far in the distance. This was more like it. "I think things are about to get a lot more interesting around here."

Wilson went pale and he gulped. "You mean… "

House nodded gravely. "Yep. It's time for camp."

"Oh, no!" Wilson's face crumpled in distress and House's smile broadened.

"Don't worry, Wilson. I'll be here for you, next to you, every step of the way."

After all, he had a pile of badges to earn.

~ End

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