menolly_au (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
menolly_au) wrote2012-03-20 09:23 pm
menolly_au) wrote2012-03-20 09:23 pm
Entry tags:
Fic : Unnatural Selection
Title: Unnatural Selection
Characters: Blythe/OC
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: For 8.14 - Love Is Blind
Words: Approx 550
Genre: Humour/Crack
Summary: Blythe discovers the one thing she really likes in her men.
A cracky fic sparked by a comment by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
petitecuriosity in the episode discussion. Thanks to petitecuriosity and damigella_314 for reading through and their helpful suggestions.
A position is available for a man between the ages of eighteen and thirty. Applicants must be unmarried, physically healthy, socially open minded and able to meet exacting requirements. Discretion is essential, size is a definite advantage. Applicant must be ready to start immediately.
Blythe looked in the mirror and adjusted her hair, peering out the front window at the young men milling around on her porch. It was a good turnout, her carefully worded ad in the church newsletter had been a good idea.
Satisfied with her looks she opened the door and called for the first man to come in. She'd given them all numbers and she checked the tag on his shirt. Number one. He must have come early, a good sign.
The young man was nervous, twisting his hat in his hands. She hoped that he wouldn't have the necessary criteria but she couldn't be fussy. She told him to drop his pants and he gaped at her in a very unattractive way. She sighed, maybe she should have given a set of instructions out to the crowd to save all this? She came forward to help him, unbuckling his pants efficiently and then tugging down his boxers to reveal the fact that he was excited about this meeting. She peered down at the object of her interest, then flipped it up with her gloved hand to examine the underside. No, this one wouldn't do. She instructed him to get dressed, gave him a packet of kleenex and one of John's magazines, and ushered him out the back door of the house.
The next few men were similar. One was particularly handsome and she had hoped that she would find what she was looking for, but alas, he too failed. She was beginning to despair when the next candidate came in. He was number twelve, but had apparently pushed his way in front of several others. She sized him up, liking what she saw. He was tall, over six feet, and had soft brown curly hair, he was lanky without being weedy and most striking of all he had the most wonderful blue eyes. He also had an air about him, he was what her mother would call 'a bad boy', she felt herself perking up, this was the one, she was sure of it.
When she told him to drop his pants he didn't hesitate, not just pushing them down but stepping out of them and removing his boxers without being told. She gasped, he was a magnificent specimen indeed. If only.... she got closer, and there it was. A large birthmark on his penis, just like Thomas. She had found her man.
She pulled him close, and ran her hand over the birthmark, feeling the familiar tingle go through her at the sight of it. She didn't know how she'd be able to bear sex with John when he came back, now that she knew just how good it could be when there was a birthmark involved. With number twelve, and Thomas, she would be able to keep herself fully occupied while John was away, and just maybe one of them would be able to give her a child, as it had turned out that John was sadly lacking in that department.
It wasn't until she was resting in bed, enjoying a joint, while number twelve got dressed, that she thought to ask his name.
Gregory, what a nice name. Maybe she'd call her child that.
The End
ETA -damigella_314 wrote a great 'missing scene' for this fic, Empty Mouth
Characters: Blythe/OC
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: For 8.14 - Love Is Blind
Words: Approx 550
Genre: Humour/Crack
Summary: Blythe discovers the one thing she really likes in her men.
A cracky fic sparked by a comment by
petitecuriosity in the episode discussion. Thanks to petitecuriosity and damigella_314 for reading through and their helpful suggestions.A position is available for a man between the ages of eighteen and thirty. Applicants must be unmarried, physically healthy, socially open minded and able to meet exacting requirements. Discretion is essential, size is a definite advantage. Applicant must be ready to start immediately.
Blythe looked in the mirror and adjusted her hair, peering out the front window at the young men milling around on her porch. It was a good turnout, her carefully worded ad in the church newsletter had been a good idea.
Satisfied with her looks she opened the door and called for the first man to come in. She'd given them all numbers and she checked the tag on his shirt. Number one. He must have come early, a good sign.
The young man was nervous, twisting his hat in his hands. She hoped that he wouldn't have the necessary criteria but she couldn't be fussy. She told him to drop his pants and he gaped at her in a very unattractive way. She sighed, maybe she should have given a set of instructions out to the crowd to save all this? She came forward to help him, unbuckling his pants efficiently and then tugging down his boxers to reveal the fact that he was excited about this meeting. She peered down at the object of her interest, then flipped it up with her gloved hand to examine the underside. No, this one wouldn't do. She instructed him to get dressed, gave him a packet of kleenex and one of John's magazines, and ushered him out the back door of the house.
The next few men were similar. One was particularly handsome and she had hoped that she would find what she was looking for, but alas, he too failed. She was beginning to despair when the next candidate came in. He was number twelve, but had apparently pushed his way in front of several others. She sized him up, liking what she saw. He was tall, over six feet, and had soft brown curly hair, he was lanky without being weedy and most striking of all he had the most wonderful blue eyes. He also had an air about him, he was what her mother would call 'a bad boy', she felt herself perking up, this was the one, she was sure of it.
When she told him to drop his pants he didn't hesitate, not just pushing them down but stepping out of them and removing his boxers without being told. She gasped, he was a magnificent specimen indeed. If only.... she got closer, and there it was. A large birthmark on his penis, just like Thomas. She had found her man.
She pulled him close, and ran her hand over the birthmark, feeling the familiar tingle go through her at the sight of it. She didn't know how she'd be able to bear sex with John when he came back, now that she knew just how good it could be when there was a birthmark involved. With number twelve, and Thomas, she would be able to keep herself fully occupied while John was away, and just maybe one of them would be able to give her a child, as it had turned out that John was sadly lacking in that department.
It wasn't until she was resting in bed, enjoying a joint, while number twelve got dressed, that she thought to ask his name.
Gregory, what a nice name. Maybe she'd call her child that.
The End
ETA -
damigella_314 wrote a great 'missing scene' for this fic, Empty Mouth
no subject
It's interesting that in the episode Blythe let House assume that Thomas is his father, although as she apparently had a multitude of lovers at the same time she must know there's a chance it isn't true. But yes, the Blythe in this fic would know who the father was:)