House Care
Apr. 26th, 2012 11:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
menolly_auTitle: House Care
Characters: House & Wilson
Rating: PG
Spoilers: For 8.18 - Body & Soul and promo for 8.19
Words: Approx 820
Summary: Wilson's been surfing the 'net again, and House has been watching the promos, a crack/meta fic.
House let himself into his apartment to find Wilson sitting on the couch, frowning at his laptop. House approached him cautiously, Wilson had been in a foul mood ever since the diagnosis.
"It's their fault, you know." Wilson was pointing at the screen. "These people and their obsession with sick!Wilson."
"Your paranoia is showing, Wilson. I hardly think that the Powers to Be are surfing the 'net looking for their next great idea."
Wilson laughed, "oh you think they don't? What about the long lost child thing? Where do you think they got that idea from?"
House had to concede that he had a point there.
"Well, they don't seem to be very happy about it anyway," House said, sitting down beside Wilson and, quickly reading the screen, "there are lots of complaints here."
"Oh, they're only complaining because they think I might die. They love me so much that they don't want me to die. They're apparently okay with me suffering for a while, because then you can comfort me, and if I'm really lucky you can nurse me back to health."
"Well, there are certain advantages to you being sick... " House said before he could censor himself. Wilson stared at him, with his most frozen look of disapproval .
"Such as... " he said coldly.
"Well, you're dressing much less formally these days," House gestured at Wilson's tee shirt and his bare forearms. Especially his bare forearms.
"You think it's okay that I'm sick because you get to see me in a tee shirt?"
Well, when he put it that way it did sound a little bit selfish, House had to concede.
"Look, it's going to be fine. You're not going to die. You have a stage II thymoma, no big deal."
Wilson brightened a little, "yes, I guess you're right. I haven't lost a thymoma patient yet. Surgery is the usual treatment, we can get Chase to do it - he's the best surgeon in the hospital after all."
House eyed him guiltily, wondering whether to say anything or not. Deciding against it he stood back up and moved towards the door. Hopefully Wilson would be too preoccupied with the computer to notice what House was doing.
"What have you go there?" Wilson shrieked at him. Damn, so much for that plan. House paused in the act of wheeling in the heart monitor. Wilson was staring at the IV stand, and the portable oxygen set-up. "What on Earth is this all this for?"
"Oh, just," House waved his hand vaguely at it, "just some experimental, radical treatment for your early stage cancer, which has as much chance of killing you as the cancer does. Nothing important."
"And it's here because...."
"Well, you know, you hate hospitals."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. So we're going to do it here."
Wilson looked around the small apartment, noting that the floor wasn't the cleanest and everything could do with a good dust.
"Here?"
"Yes, on the couch," House set up the IV stand suggestively near Wilson.
"On the couch? Don't you have a bed?"
"Apparently not. I don't know why you're complaining, I had to do mine in the bathtub."
"Yes, and look how well that turned out!"
"Well, I didn't die," House pointed out, "and neither will you. Now lie down."
"I'm not going through with this. You're the insane risk taker, not me, I'm the sensible one of the couple."
"Couple?" House cocked his head, looking at Wilson appraisingly.
Wilson blushed, "not in a romantic sense you understand. When I say couple, I just mean two people, two people who are really close friends, not..."
"Sure you do." House fiddled with the oxygen mask, "look, you need to do this. It's in the script." He knew it was, he'd bribed the writer with a small fortune to put it in there.
Wilson waved his arms around for a while and then gave up, shaking his head as he sunk down onto the couch and House began to hook him up to the equipment.
"Now, don't worry, this won't hurt much," House said as he inserted the canula and set the infusion going.
"It won't hurt much?"
"Well, you might have trouble breathing, and get tachycardic, and you'll probably cough up blood because that's popular this year, but don't worry" House stared straight into Wilson's fearful eyes, "whatever happens, I'll be here for you."
"And I won't die?" Wilson asked, staring back at his friend.
"No, you won't die," House said reassuringly. Then he paused for a moment, a thoughtful look coming over his face. "But if you do, can I have the Taurus?"
Characters: House & Wilson
Rating: PG
Spoilers: For 8.18 - Body & Soul and promo for 8.19
Words: Approx 820
Summary: Wilson's been surfing the 'net again, and House has been watching the promos, a crack/meta fic.
House let himself into his apartment to find Wilson sitting on the couch, frowning at his laptop. House approached him cautiously, Wilson had been in a foul mood ever since the diagnosis.
"It's their fault, you know." Wilson was pointing at the screen. "These people and their obsession with sick!Wilson."
"Your paranoia is showing, Wilson. I hardly think that the Powers to Be are surfing the 'net looking for their next great idea."
Wilson laughed, "oh you think they don't? What about the long lost child thing? Where do you think they got that idea from?"
House had to concede that he had a point there.
"Well, they don't seem to be very happy about it anyway," House said, sitting down beside Wilson and, quickly reading the screen, "there are lots of complaints here."
"Oh, they're only complaining because they think I might die. They love me so much that they don't want me to die. They're apparently okay with me suffering for a while, because then you can comfort me, and if I'm really lucky you can nurse me back to health."
"Well, there are certain advantages to you being sick... " House said before he could censor himself. Wilson stared at him, with his most frozen look of disapproval .
"Such as... " he said coldly.
"Well, you're dressing much less formally these days," House gestured at Wilson's tee shirt and his bare forearms. Especially his bare forearms.
"You think it's okay that I'm sick because you get to see me in a tee shirt?"
Well, when he put it that way it did sound a little bit selfish, House had to concede.
"Look, it's going to be fine. You're not going to die. You have a stage II thymoma, no big deal."
Wilson brightened a little, "yes, I guess you're right. I haven't lost a thymoma patient yet. Surgery is the usual treatment, we can get Chase to do it - he's the best surgeon in the hospital after all."
House eyed him guiltily, wondering whether to say anything or not. Deciding against it he stood back up and moved towards the door. Hopefully Wilson would be too preoccupied with the computer to notice what House was doing.
"What have you go there?" Wilson shrieked at him. Damn, so much for that plan. House paused in the act of wheeling in the heart monitor. Wilson was staring at the IV stand, and the portable oxygen set-up. "What on Earth is this all this for?"
"Oh, just," House waved his hand vaguely at it, "just some experimental, radical treatment for your early stage cancer, which has as much chance of killing you as the cancer does. Nothing important."
"And it's here because...."
"Well, you know, you hate hospitals."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. So we're going to do it here."
Wilson looked around the small apartment, noting that the floor wasn't the cleanest and everything could do with a good dust.
"Here?"
"Yes, on the couch," House set up the IV stand suggestively near Wilson.
"On the couch? Don't you have a bed?"
"Apparently not. I don't know why you're complaining, I had to do mine in the bathtub."
"Yes, and look how well that turned out!"
"Well, I didn't die," House pointed out, "and neither will you. Now lie down."
"I'm not going through with this. You're the insane risk taker, not me, I'm the sensible one of the couple."
"Couple?" House cocked his head, looking at Wilson appraisingly.
Wilson blushed, "not in a romantic sense you understand. When I say couple, I just mean two people, two people who are really close friends, not..."
"Sure you do." House fiddled with the oxygen mask, "look, you need to do this. It's in the script." He knew it was, he'd bribed the writer with a small fortune to put it in there.
Wilson waved his arms around for a while and then gave up, shaking his head as he sunk down onto the couch and House began to hook him up to the equipment.
"Now, don't worry, this won't hurt much," House said as he inserted the canula and set the infusion going.
"It won't hurt much?"
"Well, you might have trouble breathing, and get tachycardic, and you'll probably cough up blood because that's popular this year, but don't worry" House stared straight into Wilson's fearful eyes, "whatever happens, I'll be here for you."
"And I won't die?" Wilson asked, staring back at his friend.
"No, you won't die," House said reassuringly. Then he paused for a moment, a thoughtful look coming over his face. "But if you do, can I have the Taurus?"
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 01:33 pm (UTC)"You think it's okay that I'm sick because you get to see me in a tee shirt?"
Well, when he put it that way it did sounds a little bit selfish, House had to concede.
and
"And it's here because...."
"Well, you know, you hate hospitals."
"No, I don't."
and
"On the couch? Don't you have a bed?"
"Apparently not. I don't know why you're complaining, I had to do mine in the bathtub."
and of course the product placement ending. ;P
Nicely done!!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 03:04 pm (UTC)"Well, you know, you hate hospitals."
"No, I don't."
"Yes, you do. So we're going to do it here."
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:19 pm (UTC)Thanks, glad you enjoyed it :)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 03:59 pm (UTC)"Yes, on the couch," House set up the IV stand suggestively near Wilson.
"On the couch? Don't you have a bed?"
"Apparently not. I don't know why you're complaining, I had to do mine in the bathtub."
- so perfect. Thanks so much for this!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 05:15 pm (UTC)"you'll probably cough up blood because that's popular this year"
"But if you do, can I have the Taurus?"
best lines!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:20 pm (UTC)Thanks, glad you liked it :)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 06:36 pm (UTC)Absolutely brilliant. *mems*
"It's their fault, you know." Wilson was pointing at the screen. "These people and their obsession with sick!Wilson." I think Wilson has a point. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:23 pm (UTC)I think this whole thing might be a case of 'be careful what you wish for' :)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 07:08 pm (UTC)I particularly loved the 'couple' callback to HL's and RSL's joint interview.
Thank you so much for helping us preserve pour sanity.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 08:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:26 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:26 pm (UTC)Guilty as charged. I was laughing all the way through this :) Great job! You even got in references to Chase's amazing surgical skills and the Taurus -- impressive.
I will say, though, that a lovely thing about sick!Wilson is that it also means casual!Wilson. I'm glad House agrees.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:29 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading :)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 12:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 06:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 12:29 am (UTC)Hey, I just realized why Wilson has to be on the couch. He's taking Dominika's place!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 06:59 am (UTC)That must be it! Now if only he'd take her place crawling on top of House, but without the phone interruption this time :)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 01:05 am (UTC)I think my fave line was the one about coughing up blood being big this year. :D
Thank you so much for such a great read!
no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 07:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 01:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 07:01 am (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it and it gave you a laugh :)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 09:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 12:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-27 03:41 pm (UTC)Many thanks for the laughs.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-29 12:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-28 12:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-29 12:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-28 06:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-29 12:29 pm (UTC)Genious
Date: 2012-04-29 01:58 am (UTC)Re: Genious
Date: 2012-04-29 12:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-30 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-30 11:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-06-07 11:22 am (UTC)I've translated it into Russian for my friends and family (they liked it, too). Now I'd like to publish my translation in the Russian House M.D. fansite. The rules there are that I need your permission, which I'm asking for. So, may I?..
no subject
Date: 2012-06-07 11:49 am (UTC)