Fic : Wilson, the Cat and the Rubber Duck

[menolly_au]

Title: Wilson, the Cat and the Rubber Duck (as told by the duck)
Words: 836
Rating : PG for slight sexual innuendo
Spoilers : very vague allusions to a couple of events in 6th/7th season
Summary :  Wilson has a bath - with a rubber duck.


Written for the sick_wilson   pic prompt challenge #3 (rubber duck)

A/N - Okay, this is very very silly but for these prompts I'm writing what comes to mind and this is what came to mind!

The rubber duck bobbed happily on top of the bathwater. Wilson had put some sort of liquid into the bath and now there were bubbles, and it smelt heavenly. The water was warm and it was very refreshing. The duck loved how Wilson prepared the bath. Wilson always put him carefully in the water, never just dropped him in there. Wilson was very kind and gentle. When he sat in the bath with the duck he rippled the water so that the duck bobbed up and down. Wilson had a lovely smile, when he smiled at the duck the duck felt all warm inside.

Wilson's scruffy friend - House, he was another matter. House was not kind and gentle. House grabbed the duck and launched it into the bath like it was some sort of guided missile. When he was in the bath he would push the duck under the water and then release it until it shot to the surface again. Baths with House were not peaceful for the duck. Luckily, Wilson had yelled at House for using the bath and House didn't use it any more.

House wasn't as bad as the lady that had lived here once. When she'd had a bath she'd done things with the duck. She rubbed it in places where a duck just should not go. Sometimes she and Wilson had bathed together. The duck didn't enjoy those times at all,  he didn't like the lady getting so close to Wilson, and Wilson never played with him while the woman was there.

The duck hoped Wilson would hurry up and get in the bath with him. He was feeling a bit lonely, floating here by himself. He heard a noise and bobbed eagerly to the side of the bath.

It was the cat. The rubber duck really did not like the cat. The cat was worse than House, worse than the woman. The cat put its paws up on the side of the bath and stared down at the duck. Luckily the cat didn't seem to like the bath so it never tried to come in but as the duck bobbed up and down on the water the cat batted at it with its paw.

The duck gave a little squeak but as it was a rubber duck it was not a very loud noise. The cat looked unimpressed and moved further along the edge of the bath, never taking its eyes off the duck. The rubber duck really hoped Wilson would come in soon, he would take the cat away and the rubber duck would be safe again. And then Wilson could get in the bath, with the duck.

The cat was in the middle of trying to get the duck with its paw when Wilson came in. The duck watched with admiration as Wilson swept up the cat in one mighty hand, clasping it to his chest. Wilson was smiling as he stroked the cat, oh well, the duck thought, there was no accounting for taste. As long as he dumped the horrible animal outside and came into the bath with the duck everything would be fine. The duck bobbed to the side of the bath, trying to show Wilson how happy he was that Wilson was here.

Wilson turned around and went to leave the bathroom when disaster struck! Wilson slipped on something on the floor and fell to the ground. The duck gasped at the sound of Wilson impacting with bathroom tiles. He hadn't even put his hands out to save himself, instead holding onto the cat for dear life.

The cat showed how grateful it was by running off as soon as Wilson fell. The rubber duck was furious, he would never leave Wilson like that. The duck watched anxiously as Wilson lay on the ground, what would he do if Wilson didn't get up?

Slowly, very slowly, Wilson began to move. He got to his knees and then stood up, groaning and holding onto his side. He looked at the bath for a moment and then began to strip his clothes off.

The rubber duck watched Wilson stripping. He always liked this bit. As Wilson took off his shirt the duck noticed that there was bruises forming from the fall, turning his beautiful skin ugly shades of colour. The rubber duck wished it could rub those bruises away for Wilson.

Wilson poured some more of the liquid into the bath and even more of the lovely bubbles formed, then he added some more hot water. The duck was in heaven. Only one thing could make him happier.

Wilson got into the tub slowly, sinking down into the water with a sigh. The duck bobbed his way  over to him, floating close by, letting Wilson know that he was there for him. Wilson didn't need any of those others, the duck would protect him.

Nothing would get between Wilson and his rubber duck.

Comments

[flywoman.livejournal.com]

I have to say that I'm a little disturbed about the apparent allusion to Sam - "f--- a duck" came to mind, and not in a good way - but this is cute, and odd, and I do mean that in a good way :).

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it is pretty odd isn't it - I had to talk myself into posting it, but I'd written it and I hate to waste the effort...

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

I liked your entry a lot. It has a crack-ish feel to it, and I enjoy that.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yeah, it's definitely cracked :)

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

I kept seeing an animated version of this in my head, but what would the rating be, 'X'? lol. I adored it. I was worried for Wilson, but the duck upstaged even him. I was more concerned for the duck's precious latex hide.

*mems*

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

The rating would be "X" if the duck has its way :) Thanks, happy you liked it :)

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

I loved this, in particular House playing with the rubber duck (which fit well with mental images of Wooster in his bath). And I can imagine Wilson holding the cat, although it's a stupid thing to do because a cat falling from Wilson's hands certainly wouldn't get hurt.
PS In my head, a duck is by default a "she". I can read English but I think in Italian.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Wilson should really have dropped the cat, but then its a very Wilson thing to do :) Its funny you should say that about the duck's gender because I posted this, turned off the computer and went to bed and thought - oh, maybe the duck should be a 'she' :)

[jezziejay.livejournal.com]

This really made me smile. And not only did you get the duck to injure Wilson, we even got to hear it from his POV. Fabulous :))

[jezziejay.livejournal.com]

BTW - I hope you post this on sick_Wilson - it deserves to be read!!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Aww thanks, glad it made you smile :) I just couldn't write a serious story about a rubber duck... I'll post it on sick-Wilson if I can get live journal to co-operate, keep getting error messages - driving me crazy!

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful and funny and wrong in so many ways. I love that you did it from the duck's POV and yet everyone is IC!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, writing from the duck's POV was a lot of fun :)

[lifes-own-light.livejournal.com]

The POV was truly inspired. I find it interesting to see our favorite (and least favorite characters - *cough* Sam *cough) characters from an outsider's viewpoint, particularly when it's an inanimate object. Although, I suppose since the duck is sentient in this piece it's somewhere between animate and inanimate. Anyway, coming back from that tangent, I loved this!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it - I must admit I have a liking for the 'outsider' point of view. It's a shame the duck can't take a tour around PPTH so we can see what it thinks of the rest of the cast :)

[mmorgan317.livejournal.com]

I found this oddly sensual and believable. Like, I could imagine the things happening from the duck's POV (the things Sam does - eek!) and I could feel the duck's hatred for the cat, love for Wilson and desire to not only keep Wilson safe but also to soothe his hurts.

Really well done menolly! You're just an amazing writer missy. ;)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks for reading and your kind words :) This was a bit of an off-the-wall fic so I'm glad it worked for you:)