Fic - Tomorrow

[menolly_au]

Title: Tomorrow
Words: 200
Rating : G
Spoilers : For 7.23 - Moving On
Characters : House, Wilson
Warnings : None
Summary : Two linked drabbles for the camp sick!Wilson drabble challenge dealing with the aftermath of Moving On. Using Prompt 5 - roar

A/N - Afterflywoman mentioned she thought it would be interesting to write in future tense I thought I'd have a go, not sure if I got it right though...


You'll go into the hospital tomorrow, with a bright blue cast on your wrist. People will make a fuss of you, tell you how sorry they are, what a bastard he is, how you are better off without him in your life. You'll smile politely, nod and thank them for their concern. You'll go to your office, sit down at the desk and start doing paperwork. You'll know he won't be coming through that door, interrupting you. You'll tell yourself that it's a clean break. You'll know you're lying to yourself.

                -----------------------------------------

You'll go down to the beach tomorrow. You'll watch the waves, and you'll listen to their roar. You won't think about what happened, how you hurt him. You won't think about leaving him behind. You won't think about what he's doing now, won't imagine him sitting at his desk, writing with that left handed scrawl, you won't think about how he will look. You won't think about what you've left behind, what you've lost. You'll tell yourself you don't care. But you'll know you do.



.

Comments

[flywoman.livejournal.com]

Yes, this was basically what I was imagining! It works best as second person, I think, and would probably be difficult to sustain over a much longer fic, but it seems like it works well for a short self-reflective piece like this one :).

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think it would have to be first or second and I think anything longer than this would be too repetitive. I did google it a bit and people were asking if there were any books written in future tense and nobody came up with any :) Might be interesting in a time travel fic or something like that...

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

Absolutely brilliant.

I'm not sure I'd like a longer piece done in future tense, but this length one was just perfect. The contrasting povs were so well done, too.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Lol - I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like much more than this, I think it would drive you batty reading (or writing!) too much of it:) But it was fun to try anyway, glad you liked it :)

[ladyinverness23.livejournal.com]

I think the short piece works well. I like the linking POV.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yes, I think short is best for this sort of thing...

[alternatealto.livejournal.com]

I'm with Yarroway -- this works really well for drabbles! I think it would probably be harder for both the writer and the readers in a longer format, but for this length it's perfect.

I especially loved the "clean break" phrase in the drabble about Wilson -- such a Wilson way of doing things: he can always tell himself he's thinking about his arm, and not what he's actually thinking about.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it: Yes I think drabble is about the length for this, the problem being that there has to be a lot of 'you/I will's' which would get incredibly repetitive after a while.

[sydpenguinbunny.livejournal.com]

Awww :( Heartbreaking <3

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I should have warned for angst :) The season finale just lend itself to it...

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

After reading the header I was curious how you were going to pull off future tense. It was perfectly employed and a great choice for this angsty drabble.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! It was fun playing with it:)

[jezziejay.livejournal.com]

Yes, you definitely made this work here - the technique complimented the story you were telling very well. And the story was ouchie lovely, too :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it:)

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

Future tense works fine here. It highlights the predictability and inevitability of what happens/will happen. Conversely, it probably won't work in longer fics, because there are too many unknowns in a longer story to give it a 'predictable' feeling.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, yes definitely one for very short fics only I think.

[rslhilson.livejournal.com]

The future tense/second person for these heartbreaking drabbles definitely worked. Loved them!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, it was a bit of an experiment, glad it worked for you :)

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

This really well done. I like the use of the future tense here, it certainly works. I also like the two drabbles paralleling each other.

I agree with you, they are both in denial.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) Denial is something they are both good at I think :)

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

I couldn't even imagine a fic in the future tense, so thanks for showing me. And yes, it fit very well with this, except it was so very, very sad.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I think there's a very good reason there aren't many things written in future tense:)

Yeah, they did turn out pretty angsty didn't they...

[brindlewolf.livejournal.com]

Really good ... I like the way they parallel each other in their mutual attempts at denial. <3

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! yes, they are the kings of denial:)