Nitpicking 8.05 The Confession

[menolly_au]

Way back in the dark ages when I was a rabid Star Trek fan one of my favourite books was The Nitpickers Guide to Star Trek. The book pointed out all the plot holes, inconsistencies and general absurdities of the series in a loving and sometimes amusing way.

So in the spirit of that, here are some nitpicks for the latest episode of House.



Here, let me give you my liver

Okay, Bob (POTW) is a big man in Cedarville, he coaches the little league team, he owns the only gas station, he has the requisite wife and two kids, he does charity work, he's a great guy! No wonder when he needs part of a liver urgently the whole town turns up to PPTH to be tested. Right? Yeah, except a Living donor liver transplantation  (LDLT) is a big deal,  the donor dies in one out of every two hundred cases. It takes up to three months to recover from the operation. My family can have as much of my liver as they want - the guy who fixes my car or coaches my kids? Not so much.

LDLT is, in fact, established in the House world to be a Big Deal - you may remember the women in Sleeping Dogs Lie, where Cameron was aghast at the prospect of a donation from one of the women. See also the case of Tucker, House & Cuddy were shocked at the idea of nice-guy Wilson donating part of his liver to his friend. This isn't like giving blood folks.

Of course, life in Cedarville may be so incredibly dull that a life threatening operation seems like a pleasant diversion - who knows?

I have an insane urge to tell the truth - wait, isn't that usually a symptom?

So, our nice guy Bob starts confessing to every sin under the sun, including ripping off all those people from Cedarville who are trying to give him the liver he needs to survive. This is the guy who was quite happily cheating on his wife and lying to her about it. Could this sudden urge towards honesty be a symptom? After all, we've seen it before, House has many times insisted that any sign of behaviour that doesn't fit with his own world view is a symptom, including honesty (everybody lies after all). But no, not this time, all five doctors engaged on the case missed it. It's not until Bob confesses to being a serial killer, and possibly involved in the JFK assassination that Chase begins to twig that something might be wrong. Ah well, House might have had his mind on other things, such as remodeling the hospital to suit himself. Speaking of which...


What's a little wall between friends?

House came into some money last week. As it turns out it was apparently a LOT of money, he has funded his entire department consisting of five doctors including himself (for how long? a year? three years? forever?), purchased a whole room of Orthopedic equipment and a baseball bat, found another office for the Orthopedic people, and now he has had some major work done on the conference room. And we're talking MAJOR work here, a large section of wall, sliding up at the touch of a button. Wilson apparently hasn't noticed the wall to his office being replaced with this new one. Foreman has been worrying about what House has been up to but hasn't actually gone to the workmen and asked them what they were doing. This isn't House's apartment when he can have bits and pieces done to it whenever he likes, this is a place of work, a hospital, pretty sure there would be a LOT of paperwork involved in such a building effort.

And as alternatealto pointed out in the episode post mortem - where the heck is the wall going anyway? Up through the floor of the fifth floor, straight into the middle of someone else's office? Wouldn't there be a hole in their floor? And wouldn't the people on the fifth floor have noticed this going on?


The case of the seven year fellow, or I'd rather be surfing

I'm given to believe that the average fellowship lasts 2-3 years. Yet here is Chase, signing on for his 7th? 8th? year of being abused by House. Apparently while House was rotting away in prison Chase was off surfing for a year. Oh well, he's an Aussie, what else could you expect? It's not as if he could take over diagnostics while House was away or anything.


It's a tough job but someone has to do it

Oh, that Foreman, he's such a great guy. It's not that he wanted to be Dean of the hospital but 'someone had to run this place after Cuddy left'. Yep, it's a major teaching hospital on the East Coast, it's not like there would be candidates with actual experience in hospital administration, lining up to apply is it?




Okay, that's all I got :) Comments, additions, corrections, alternative theories welcome. Anybody else have any nitpicks? I'm sure there's more :)

Comments

[flywoman.livejournal.com]

Hee! My only comment (until I've seen the whole thing) is that these are not nitpicks, but rather the identification of MAJOR PLOTHOLES. Especially I have an insane urge to tell the truth - wait, isn't that usually a symptom?

Also I loved the Nitpicker's Guide, too!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I tell you, when *I* notice a symptom and the five doctors don't there's something really wrong! The medicine usually leaves me about five steps behind :)

I still have those Nitpicker's Guides somewhere, I think I read them all about 10 times and they made me laugh so hard.

[resm.livejournal.com]

I was thinking the exact same thing with that wall and where it went! Wtf?? I'm pretending in my head that it just rolls up like a garage door, regardless of how impossible/impractical that would be.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I must admit I didn't think of that before Alternatealto pointed it out - I'd never make a builder! But yeah, it's got to go somewhere!

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

I thought garage door myself. And Wilson must have known about it, he didn't look upset, just "not now". I hope Tailkinker will be inspired to give Wilson the remote of that wall :).

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

I never heard of the nitpicker's guide until now. I love the idea.

--I knew the confessions were a symptom from almost the beginning. It seemed spectacularly OOC for the entire team to miss it, and the fact that none of them even suggested it told me it was not only a symptom, but the one that would crack the case. This one I forgave because procedurals are predictable, and I knew that going in.

--I was weirded out by House claiming that the only reason he noticed Adams' breasts was that Chase was staring at them. He'd known her ages before Chase came back--did House really never notice her breasts until this episode? I don't think so.

--I didn't have an issue with the townies showing up for the ldlt testing. They wouldn't have known it was dangerous at that point.

--The wall was cute and wonderful and I loved it. It's also stupid and unrealistic and against the laws of physics.

--The money thing. I still haven't seen the prior episode, so I don't understand what happened, but no matter how much of it House may have, he can't just spend it on remodelling the hospital, nor can he buy things that aren't for sale, like the hospital's orthopedic equipment.

--I can only agree about Chase still working with House. But maybe he's not a fellow anymore? Maybe House has a staff now. Chase taking a year off seemed odd, but if he could afford it I can easily seem him doing it. Why not have fun until the boss gets back?

Cuddy was a terrible Dean, and in the real world she'd never have gotten the job in the first place--and that's before she lied to PPTH about her age. I don't see Foreman as any less realistic than she was. Don't forget that somehow Cameron got to be acting Dean in season 5.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

If you know Star Trek at all the Nitpicker's Guide's are absolutely hilarious.

I was weirded out by House claiming that the only reason he noticed Adams' breasts was that Chase was staring at them. He'd known her ages before Chase came back--did House really never notice her breasts until this episode?

I must admit I didn't follow the whole breast dialogue, will have to watch again, but yeah no way House doesn't notice a breast. To be honest this going on about his employee's breasts makes me very uncomfortable, it's sexual harrassment really and one aspect of the character I try my best to pretend doesn't exist (:

I didn't have an issue with the townies showing up for the ldlt testing. They wouldn't have known it was dangerous at that point.

I was assuming they'd be told up front, but maybe they aren't until it's discovered they're a match. I know I couldn't possibly get that many people who aren't family - but hey, I'm not Bob - he's a great guy :)

I don't see Foreman as any less realistic than she was.

True, but it was more the fact that he made it sound like he was the only choice, like nobody else wanted to do it and he stepped up reluctantly. Pretty sure that would be a VERY sought after position, with candidates from within and outside the hospital, especially with no House in the hospital to worry about.

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this! You explained a lot of things that made me go "huh"? at the time. House fans have been beated into submission...we'll accept anything that remotely resembles an old-style episode. As soon as the guy started confessing to the entire town (I agree, wtf?) I knew it was a symptom, and they diagnosed it the same way they diagnosed Altruist Guy--by asking a ridiculous question.

Here's another nitpick: POTW lost most of his skin, but his face remained remarkably intact.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I didn't mind the episode that much, although the end scene made me pull a face, cute but obvious fan service and are we not even pretending that House is set in the real world now?

POTW lost most of his skin, but his face remained remarkably intact

Didn't notice that, must be one of those selective skin-shedding diseases :)

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

Oh yes! Keeping face skin intact! I was all WTF?

[alternatealto.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, I have to wipe my eyes now because I laughed so much.

The Foreman thing -- my partner and I both looked at each other when he said that and exclaimed in unison "And it's not as if there were any other candidates, after all!" Honest to god, that may be one of the dumbest lines ever given to any actor on the show.

But you left out another huge nit: The Head of Oncology in this hospital has time to babysit the infants of a Diagnostics fellow?? Gee, Wilson has a light workload all of a sudden: no patients, no pesky insurance forms or drug reps or papers to write or meetings to go to. Nope, he can occupy his time wheeling kids around the Clinic desk in a stroller. Wonder how much he charges per hour?

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Yep, the Foreman thing was ridiculous, though it would explain how he got the job if no-one else wanted to do it. Good thing none of the department heads in the hospital are at all ambitious!

The Head of Oncology in this hospital has time to babysit the infants of a Diagnostics fellow?

Oh yes, I think the image of Wilson wheeling the stroller around made me warm and gooey and I forgot that:) And it's not like the diagnostics department hasn't got *five people* who could take care of the babies between them, or Taub could grow a pair and tell House he'll start next week like he said - House is desparate to get 'his' people back, he's not going to fire him.

Mind you, all Wilson ever seems to do is sit in his office either reading or writing (or wandering through the lobby so he can encounter House) so maybe he has got the time...

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

I dislike inconsistency/unrealistic stuff as a general rule, but as House episodes go this one wasn't awful IMHO (on a scale of relativity to other house eps).

Allow me to play devil's advocate for you?

1. The liver transplant - the guy is like a town celebrity, whom people adore. There were about 25 people in that room. If the small town has 5000 people that is not really that many, right? The two that remained might be family. Also, Wilson was jumping onto kitchen islands a week after surgery. And everyone is always up in bed chatting after any surgery (even brain) on this show so at least it is consistent with itself.

2. I think they thought truth telling might be a symptom, just not making up stuff. It was actually lying that was the symptom. At l;east that is how i interpreted it.

3. I have seen room dividers that slide neatly into side walls and seem to disappears, so maybe this one curves as it slides upward into some sort of pocket mechanism? Or maybe it slides into the wall directly above them? I found this bit very funny, if a bit over the top. I think House did it at night so Wilson wouldn't notice and Foreman was trying to stay away from the office. That is a little far fetched of course. My biggest complaint in the episode was the money for the wall and everything else.

4. IAWTC. Why can't anyone be hired as an actual full doctor in diagnostics? Why must everyone be a fellow?

5. Foreman as dean is silly but consistent with the show. Cuddy was very early thirties when she got the job. I also think Foreman learned to be pushy and manipulative from House so he probably played the board somehow and they had little notice when Cuddy left.

I thought the most inconsistent thing was Wilson babysitting for Taub. It just seemed odd. Of course Taub getting two women pregnant is odder, as you would think a doctor would use birth control under that scenario, but there you go. ;)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I'm just jealous, I don't think I'll get 25 not-family to my funeral let alone lining up to give me part of their liver:)

I think House did it at night so Wilson wouldn't notice and Foreman was trying to stay away from the office.

But Foreman stayed at the hospital for four whole days (another nitpick really, who does that? and how does he look so well pressed at the end of it) because he was worried what House was up to? Well, couldn't he go and look??

I also think Foreman learned to be pushy and manipulative from House so he probably played the board somehow

True, (maybe he blackmailed them, that's standard modus operandi in PPTH) but it's just the way he made it sound like he was the only one who could do the job - but he was trying to win Taub over at the time so maybe thats why.

I thought the most inconsistent thing was Wilson babysitting for Taub

Yes, true, but wasn't Wilson adorable pushing those babies around:)

And I don't know - but don't the kids have a right to know for sure who their dad is, if there is any doubt? Better to find out now than later....

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

He's insane not to pursue any way of avoiding paying all that child support. Not to mention the hell that Taub is in for, co-parenting two kids with two different mothers, both of whom are pissed at him.

Of course, there is plenty of time for him to run another test.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I thought it was sweet that he was so in love with both babies that he didn't want to know if they didn't belong to him, but this sort of thing would only blow up down the road a bit so it really would be better to be sure right from the start. (Not that we have any reason to think that Rachel or um...the nurse(?) were sleeping around, it was Taub who the sleazebag after all)

I'm guessing Taub isn't with either woman any more :)

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

While the scene was cute, I bet we will never see that panel rise again.

I don't have anything of value to add, just thought I'd show up to let you know I agree with you and the commenters.

Kind of like what Cuddyclothes said above, season 7 knocked the stuffing out of me. Since season 5 and the tripwire the show hasn't resembled RL to me. I'm trying to find the positive in the absurdities. For instance, I suppose we had the opportunity to see how the sets works. Sure, the rising wall goes up into that lofty space of overhead beams and cables, not into some storage closet on the floor above. The way Wilson looked unperturbed. He had to be in on House's prank and was probably thankful for any project that kept House happily engaged. It may also be the reason why he backed away from Foreman's solicitation to spy on House, knowing what House was up to. I can't help but wonder if there wasn't a 4th wall joke in there by writers, but I'm not sure what they were trying to say.

--Dang! How did the team not suspect the patient was lying to the townspeople? He not only confessed to faking auto repairs but embezzling? Only two episodes ago House insisted his patient's philanthropy was a symptom. Why not this time?

And Foreman's response... I'm speechless.

eta: Teensy nitpick--dropping the ball on the betting pool. I thought it was a great maneuver by House to put pressure on Taub. Perhaps a way to enlist additional people in the hunt for Taub's DNA? However, after the cafeteria scene it was never mentioned again. Maybe Wilson made it up and was in cahoots with House?

A small nitpick for me was House offering Taub the results of the DNA test. Two out of three (Crandall, Thirteen, & Sam) times in the past, the paperwork ended up in the trash. Meta-wise, I had no reason to believe anything would go differently.

So far this season has been deceptively mild. I wonder if tptb are lulling us into a false sense of security before they lower the boom.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

While the scene was cute, I bet we will never see that panel rise again

I bet that too.

I can't help but wonder if there wasn't a 4th wall joke in there by writers, but I'm not sure what they were trying to say.

Yes, I wondered about the 'fourth wall' too. I keep having this feeling that the writers/producers whatever are laughing at the fans this season, because of the outrage at the end of season 7 which TPTB thought was unjustified. Maybe I'm paranoid.

A small nitpick for me was House offering Taub the results of the DNA test. Two out of three (Crandall, Thirteen, & Sam) times in the past, the paperwork ended up in the trash. Meta-wise, I had no reason to believe anything would go differently.

Yeah, I was thinking - oh, we've seen this before. What was the Sam one? I can't remember that.

So far this season has been deceptively mild. I wonder if tptb are lulling us into a false sense of security before they lower the boom.

It all seems to be going so well for House, one does wonder...

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

In "Knight Fall" House requested Sam's psychiatrist's notes from Lucas. Ha! I just checked. It was written by John C. Kelley, the same guy who wrote last night's show.

I keep having this feeling that the writers/producers whatever are laughing at the fans this season, because of the outrage at the end of season 7 which TPTB thought was unjustified. Maybe I'm paranoid.
--Guess I am too.

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the same guy who stole an idea of his from NCIS and used it on House?

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

Yep. He was co-executive producer of NCIS for "Cover Story," shown in 2007.

[alternatealto.livejournal.com]

While the scene was cute, I bet we will never see that panel rise again.

Bingo. Which is probably the most annoying thing about it. Although, as someone mentioned above, why the heck couldn't they just have had the wall slide sideways into a pocket? Easier to do, much less expensive, just as effective as a reveal, less likely to be noticed than ripping apart two levels of a hospital, and did I mention cheaper?

Oh, well. It was still more realistic than S7's Huddy plotline was!

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

@hy the heck couldn't they just have had the wall slide sideways into a pocket? Easier to do, much less expensive, just as effective as a reveal...
--That would be the logical choice. My guess is that for production purposes it was cheaper to go the way they did. That wall was probably already wired to lift up for shooting scenes in Wilson's office.

Oh, well. It was still more realistic than S7's Huddy plotline was!
--Amen!

[writerdot.livejournal.com]

lol, my uncle gave me the TNG version of the Nitpickers guide when he noticed I loved Star Trek when I was younger. I loved it.

Very valid nitpicks. I actually missed the live airing, but I downloaded and watched it and I loved it. I dunno, maybe I got my nitpicks out of my system with my Risky Business fic, because last weeks inconsistencies bugged me, this time, I just thought it was a lot of fun.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Pleased to see so many Star Trek fans who also remember the Nitpickers guides! Oh, I liked this episode much better than last weeks, some nice interaction between all the players and Taub wasn't nearly as painful as I thought he would be, but I felt in the mood for nitpicking :)

[writerdot.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Taub normally bothers me, but I kinda liked him in this one.

I felt in the mood for nitpicking

lol. I know that feeling.

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

I'll buy the nitpickers guide the day I'm damn sure that I have no more nonmetaphorical nits to pick. Not soon.

I wasn't so bothered by the wall (which I think might be garage like) as by Wilson having time to babysit. Writing may be a part of an oncologist's work, babysitting isn't. But he sure looked cute, as did tshirt-less House. The idea that Miss Cedarville might lose her job for sleeping with a married man only reminds me why I love socialistic laws protecting employess' rights.

I didn't dislike this episode so much, and I must admit that what House said about the breasts might sound like sexual harssment but the way he framed made it seem reasonable to me. Otoh nothing is sexual harassment if compared with Berlusconi's many mysoginist jokes.

I thought Foreman's line was obviously a joke, like what I said when I was made full professor :). And I hope Chase has a real job, although I do wonder like you for how many years House has budgeted.

PS I didn't get death risk for donor was one in two hundred (or three hundred, according to Mayo clinics data). I'd say this implies the procedure should be forbidden except possibly among very close relations. It's way too dangerous, and Wilson is batshit crazy (I thought risk was one in three or four thousands, but it turns out that's for kidney donation).

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Wilson having time to babysit

Oh, Wilson has plenty of time, all he does is sit in that damned office all day and write write write:) When the wall went up he was sitting there with his feet up reading....

Yeah it was pretty silly that he was babysitting, but he was so adorable pushing that pram that I overlooked that :)

I thought Foreman's line was obviously a joke

Foreman make a joke? Does he do that?

I'm sure your Mayo clinic data is more accurate than my Wikipedia data :) It's the sort of thing you'd do for close family, or for very close friends I think, but like I said, don't think you'd be keen to do it just because he fixed your car once :)

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

1:300 is pretty bad. I'm even amazed it's legal.

And Wilson pushing a double stroller was indeed totally adorable. As for the sitting and writing, a department head spends probably half his time if not more dealing with administration and/or surfing the web aimlessly, activities that look completely identical from the other side of the laptop. [Does Wilson have a mac? I thought everyone did on this show, it's so much like a maths department.]

[rividori.livejournal.com]

I thought the same thing about the patient suddenly telling the truth. That has to be a symptom! I'm guessing something before they are! Maybe they pay more attention to it if the patient is being super nice and selfless but if he's admitting to being a bastard, hey now we're seeing their true colours.

My guess will be that the diagnostics funding will be never ending. We'll never hear more about it because the balance has been restored. :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I must admit I think the diagnostic funding arc was one of the more ridiculous subplots we've seen on the show. It appeared to include House somehow buying the office space next door (ortho presumably are out in the car park or something). And yes, I think that is the last we will ever hear of it :)