Fic : False Alarm
Mar. 31st, 2012 09:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
menolly_auTitle: False Alarm
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Spoilers for 8.15 Blowing the Whistle Sneak Peek #2 but not anything beyond what's in the video.
Words: 650
Summary: Inspired by the promo for 8.15 Blowing the Whistle. Wilson carries out his suggested course of action.
House lay back on the exam table, with his pants and underwear pushed down, while Wilson palpated his testicles. Wilson was wearing his best lab coat and pocket protector and had adopted a totally professional and dispassionate manner. House's cock apparently hadn't gotten the message that this was purely a medical exam and was currently making its interest in proceedings known. Wilson, as a total professional, ignored this unfortunate occurrence while House stared at his own erection as if was the most amazing thing he'd seen in years.
"Find anything interesting?" House asked.
"No lumps, or other abnormalities appear to be present." Wilson reported, his gloved hand still resting lightly on House's balls.
"Okay, well if you're done juggling the jewels maybe you'd like to move onto other interesting bits, if you get my drift." House looked at his erect cock with a leer on his face and then winced as Wilson squeezed one of his balls.
"Hey! I'm sort of attached to that one."
"I was thinking House, why not try it?"
"It? Yeah, sure just let me get the lube... "
Wilson continued on as he hadn't spoken. "Friends with benefits. Everyone already thinks we're an old married couple anyway. Why not make it official?"
House was stunned to silence but his cock became even more interested. Both men stared at it.
"Obviously a part of you thinks it would be a good idea," Wilson said dryly. "If you're taking votes that is."
"This is rather sudden, dear. You've never mentioned anything like this before."
Wilson rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, the other one still resting on House's balls, which was making it very hard for House to think with any coherence. "Come on, House. All those hints you've been throwing out, you think I haven't noticed? 'All nag and no shag', you'll 'plough my furrow', 'juggle my jewels' . You might as well have said - 'throw me down and ravage me'."
"So you decided that now, when I'm dying, was a good time to pick up on my subtle hints? What did you have in mind - a pity fuck?"
Wilson smiled. "You're not dying, House, you're not even sick. There's nothing wrong with you. You were sleeping in the clinic because that's what you always do."
"So if you didn't think I was dying then why did you insist on this exam?" House asked.
Wilson glanced pointedly down at House's cock. "I guess for the same reason that you agreed to it. You know you don't have hepatic encephalopathy, and even if you did you wouldn't need an examination of the family jewels for that."
House grinned with delight at Wilson's duplicity. "You could have just asked me out for dinner and a movie," he said, batting his eyelids.
"I could, if I wanted to listen to you analyse the invitation until you'd talked both of us out of it. This way was more direct... and more fun."
"Well, if you've finished your examination, Doctor, maybe when we can move this to a more appropriate location, like my apartment... or my bed," House said, sitting up and pulling up his underwear over his still erect cock.
Wilson had turned away, stripping off his gloves, and when he turned back he was putting on a fresh pair.
"Not yet, one more thing to do while we're here, something that might help you with your... little problem," Wilson glanced at the tent in House's boxers.
"You mean?" House's eyes went wide as he looked at Wilson's extended forefinger.
"Drop your pants, turn around and bend over the table, it's time for your prostate exam."
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Spoilers for 8.15 Blowing the Whistle Sneak Peek #2 but not anything beyond what's in the video.
Words: 650
Summary: Inspired by the promo for 8.15 Blowing the Whistle. Wilson carries out his suggested course of action.
House lay back on the exam table, with his pants and underwear pushed down, while Wilson palpated his testicles. Wilson was wearing his best lab coat and pocket protector and had adopted a totally professional and dispassionate manner. House's cock apparently hadn't gotten the message that this was purely a medical exam and was currently making its interest in proceedings known. Wilson, as a total professional, ignored this unfortunate occurrence while House stared at his own erection as if was the most amazing thing he'd seen in years.
"Find anything interesting?" House asked.
"No lumps, or other abnormalities appear to be present." Wilson reported, his gloved hand still resting lightly on House's balls.
"Okay, well if you're done juggling the jewels maybe you'd like to move onto other interesting bits, if you get my drift." House looked at his erect cock with a leer on his face and then winced as Wilson squeezed one of his balls.
"Hey! I'm sort of attached to that one."
"I was thinking House, why not try it?"
"It? Yeah, sure just let me get the lube... "
Wilson continued on as he hadn't spoken. "Friends with benefits. Everyone already thinks we're an old married couple anyway. Why not make it official?"
House was stunned to silence but his cock became even more interested. Both men stared at it.
"Obviously a part of you thinks it would be a good idea," Wilson said dryly. "If you're taking votes that is."
"This is rather sudden, dear. You've never mentioned anything like this before."
Wilson rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, the other one still resting on House's balls, which was making it very hard for House to think with any coherence. "Come on, House. All those hints you've been throwing out, you think I haven't noticed? 'All nag and no shag', you'll 'plough my furrow', 'juggle my jewels' . You might as well have said - 'throw me down and ravage me'."
"So you decided that now, when I'm dying, was a good time to pick up on my subtle hints? What did you have in mind - a pity fuck?"
Wilson smiled. "You're not dying, House, you're not even sick. There's nothing wrong with you. You were sleeping in the clinic because that's what you always do."
"So if you didn't think I was dying then why did you insist on this exam?" House asked.
Wilson glanced pointedly down at House's cock. "I guess for the same reason that you agreed to it. You know you don't have hepatic encephalopathy, and even if you did you wouldn't need an examination of the family jewels for that."
House grinned with delight at Wilson's duplicity. "You could have just asked me out for dinner and a movie," he said, batting his eyelids.
"I could, if I wanted to listen to you analyse the invitation until you'd talked both of us out of it. This way was more direct... and more fun."
"Well, if you've finished your examination, Doctor, maybe when we can move this to a more appropriate location, like my apartment... or my bed," House said, sitting up and pulling up his underwear over his still erect cock.
Wilson had turned away, stripping off his gloves, and when he turned back he was putting on a fresh pair.
"Not yet, one more thing to do while we're here, something that might help you with your... little problem," Wilson glanced at the tent in House's boxers.
"You mean?" House's eyes went wide as he looked at Wilson's extended forefinger.
"Drop your pants, turn around and bend over the table, it's time for your prostate exam."
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no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 01:20 pm (UTC)This was too funny.
Great job in making Wilson call out
the writers'House's many throwaway clues and hints. Time to bring this to the next level, really. I also like the idea that 'Little Greg' is basically a third character, so that the others look at him and take his opinion into account.I know this cannot possibly be true but I so wish it were.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 10:29 pm (UTC)Somehow I don't think we're going to get the scene where Wilson 'juggles House's jewels'...
no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 02:13 pm (UTC)House stared at his own erection as if was the most amazing thing he'd seen in years. This sentence made me laugh so hard! I adore the originality and total IC of House's reaction.
no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 03:20 pm (UTC)My favorite line:
"Obviously a part of you thinks it would be a good idea," Wilson said dryly. "If you're taking votes that is."
no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 06:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-03-31 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-01 01:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-01 10:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-01 06:46 pm (UTC)Yeah, his best pocket protector. Dinner consisting of House analyzing his way out of dinner. Very nice!
Next up, you can help allay fears of the explosions, etc. TY.
no subject
Date: 2012-04-01 08:12 pm (UTC)Explosions? House is blowing the hospital up? Sure beats driving a monster truck into it :)
no subject
Date: 2012-09-03 04:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-09-04 10:05 pm (UTC)