Fic : Turnabout

[menolly_au]

Title: Turnabout
Characters: House & Wilson
Rating: PG
Spoilers: For 8.16 - Gut Check
Words: Approx 1400
Summary: An AU to Gut Check, Wilson turns the tables on House.

(Yes, it's another Gut Check fic, sorry, apparently I have feelings about the episode)



Wilson felt a moment of sadness as he looked at Duncan. The boy really did look a lot like him, and he was everything a father could want in a son, confident but polite and respectful, well spoken and neatly dressed, considerate of the feelings of a stranger he'd only just met. He was perfect.

Too perfect.

"How much is House paying you?" Wilson asked, just as Duncan had taken a bite of his burger.

To give the boy his due his eyes only widened fractionally and he kept chewing his mouthful. By the time he'd finished his expression was again open and welcoming.

"What do you mean?"

Wilson took a fifty out of his wallet and laid it on the table without saying anything. Duncan's eyes flicked to it but he still stared at Wilson impassively.

"I don't understand, Dad. Is something the matter?"

Wilson sighed and crossed his arms. "I'll double whatever he's paying you."

Duncan smiled and grabbed the money off the table. "Sounds good to me, but I'll have to check with my Mom, she's my agent." He looked towards a table in the corner where a well dressed woman sat reading a newspaper. He looked back to Wilson and grinned. "He said you might get mad, but you're not are you?"

Wilson smiled slightly. "I don't get mad. I get even."

---

"He told me he loved me." Wilson said as House came up next to him in the clinic. "After we made pizza together."

"How sweet. When are you getting married?"

"He's a great boy, I'm so glad you told me about him. I should be mad at you for concealing it all these years, but I'm just so happy he's come into my life."

House looked a little uneasy. "Well, don't get used to it. You know you always screw relationships up. He won't be enough for you, and before you know it you'll be looking for stray puppies in the pound and dumping him."

Wilson smiled and shook his head. "No, this is different. He's not some girlfriend. He's my son. He's so much like me, we like the same things, he's smart and great company. I enjoy being with him. I didn't realise how much I was missing in my life until I met Duncan."

House pulled a face, "don't even think about bringing the brat tonight, video games aren't for kids."

"Wilson rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged apologetically, "sorry House, I'll have to cancel. Duncan and I have plans. We're going to catch a movie and then go bowling."

House's eyes widened. "But that's not what... " He quickly shut his mouth and pulled out his phone, stalking off. Wilson grinned after him.

---

"Duncan is going to move in with me," Wilson told House as the latter burst into his office a few days later. "Beth is going to Costa Rica to rescue birds of prey and Duncan doesn't want to go. So Beth said it would be okay if he stayed with me for a while, maybe permanently."

House narrowed his eyes at him. "And you're okay with that?"

"Okay? I'm great. I love this kid, House. I couldn't be happier. I've ordered some things for him, there's not much at my place for a kid, and I've already started remodelling your old bedroom for him. It's going to be great having him there. And I owe it all to you. i always thought maybe I wasn't cut out to be a father but I'm great with Duncan. Thank you, House."

House looked at him, his mouth open slightly, his eyes wide. "You want him to live with you?"

"Of course, he's my son, why wouldn't I want him to live with me? We have eleven years to catch up on. Of course I may not be able to spend as much time with you but it's important I build a good relationship with Duncan. He's only been in my life for a few days but I already don't know what I'd do without him."

House limped to the sofa in his office and sat down heavily. "Look, Wilson. I need to tell you something."

"Can it wait? I have painters coming. Going to get the bedroom painted purple for him, apparently he likes the colour. Then I need to see if I can find a better school for him, get him added to my insurance... "

House got up and went to the door, pulling it open with a worried look on his face. Duncan was waiting outside on the seat. The neat and tidy smart casual clothes and nerdish hairstyle were gone, and instead he'd reverted to typical teenage grunge.

House ushered the boy in, taking a large envelope Duncan had been carrying and holding it out to Wilson.

"He's not your son," House said, his eyes locked on Wilson.

Wilson put his hands on his hips and smiled tolerantly at House. "Look, I know you might be threatened by Duncan's existence, but you only have to look at him to see he's my son. He loves me, and I love him, and you just have to accept that."

"He's an actor!" House shouted. "I hired him to play your son. You were supposed to realise what a lousy father you'd be, not turn into Ward Cleaver."

"I know," Wilson said, letting House off the hook.

"You...you know?" House said, his eyes shooting from a grinning 'Duncan' to Wilson. "How.... "

Wilson took a bill out of his wallet and handed it to the kid, he'd been great, he deserved a tip. "Thanks, Wendal. Hope that pilot works out for you."

Wendal took the money and tucked it away. On his way out the door he turned to House.

"Told you he'd work it out. You need a better scriptwriter, those lines were lame, man. Goat's cheese, on a pizza! Everyone knows kids like peanut butter." He went out the door, shaking his head.

"You bastard!" House said, pointing his cane at Wilson. "You lying, sneaking, double crossing bastard!"

"I'm the bastard?" Wilson asked, pushing the cane aside. " You're the maniac who hired an actor to play my son. What the hell were you thinking that was going to achieve?"

"You wanted a kid, I just wanted to show you that you weren't cut out to be a father. You can't keep a relationship with a normal person."

Wilson felt a pang of sympathy for his friend. His voice softened, "you're not, 'not normal', House, you're just off the bell curve a little. Don't worry, my 'need to be needed' hasn't gone away yet, I don't think it ever will, but, I'm not looking for a kid."

"You said... "

"I briefly wondered what it would be like, what I was missing." Wilson threw his hands up in the air. "You're the one that decided to make a federal case out of it. It was just a passing thought, a moment's regret. I don't want a kid, not now, probably not ever. But House, if I did," Wilson fixed House with a stare, "If I did, that would be my choice, not yours." He picked up his coat and case. He opened the door and looked at House, still standing silently, hunched over his cane, and looking uncharacteristically at a loss for words. "You coming for dinner? We'll make pizzas."

House brightened, and followed Wilson out the door. Wilson looked back at him, "just for the record, House, I'd make a great Dad."

"Just as long as I don't have to be Uncle Greg," House groused. "How did you know anyway?"

"I'm not Taub, I used triple strength condoms. Beth wasn't pregnant."

House looked startled for a moment and then laughed. "You could have saved us both a boatload of money by just telling me that at the beginning."

Wilson smiled. "I could have, but that wouldn't have been nearly as much fun."



The End

Comments

[alternatealto.livejournal.com]

Yes! This is what should have happened in the episode.

Much better job of writing than the show's writers did! I love Wilson's immediate realization of the prank. I also love the fact that you had "Duncan's" mother right there in the restaurant. Not having anyone keeping an eye on him was something that really bugged me about the episode.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it :) Watching the episode it seemed really obvious to me that 'Duncan' was a fake - the kid was just too perfectly like Wilson, was that a sweater vest he was wearing in the first scene? I did like that you made in the episode discussion that Wilson was seeing what he wanted to see (like Taub).

As soon as 'Duncan' walked into the diner by himself in the first scene, I was like er...no, not if he's eleven. And as for going to Wilson's house for pizza without Beth ever meeting with Wilson, double no.

[pgrabia.livejournal.com]

You should have written the episode! Wonderful! I much prefer this Wilson than the one in the ep. Why do they try to make Wilson look like an utter dupe? If he really was that stupid and easy to fool, House would have no interest in him. That's the Wilson I love:)

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

You should have written the episode!
and the whole Season 7.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I don't usually see surprise twists coming, so if I spotted this pretty quickly I'm sure wilson would have :) Although alternatealto did make the point that it paralleled Taub's subplot, that they were both seeing what they wanted to see (which suggests that wilson in fact did want a kid who was exactly like him)

Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it.

[rslhilson.livejournal.com]

I'm not Taub, I used triple strength condoms. - lol!

SO much better than canon! This was a perfect twist on things, and one that could have easily happened if the writers had any sense left in them. As pgrabia said, your Wilson is the classic Wilson that I miss. Great story, totally IC.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it :) I thought it would be a fun twist if Wilson found out early on about it, I mean 'Duncan' *was* a little too perfect for words :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

All I can say is that I love you.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) That episode really did get under my skin in a bad way...

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

*hugs* you and fic. Thanks for shedding Wilson!lite for Wilson!Classic. I loved every line and did a spit take over, "I'm not Taub, I used triple strength condoms. Beth wasn't pregnant." Kudos! *mems*

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it :) I think Wilson learnt about the wonders of condoms fairly young, and is always very,very,careful :)

[taiga13.livejournal.com]

I'd like to have your baby.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

LOl - now that would be interesting :) As long as the baby turns out like Duncan :)

[taiga13.livejournal.com]

I'll feed him lots of goat cheese!

[writerdot.livejournal.com]

YES! Yay for oldschool!Wilson. I would have LOVED it if this had happened in the episode. Thank you for it. :-)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yes, I think it would have been good if wilson had sussed it out, he's not normally this dim :(

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

You can't keep a relationship with a normal person.
For some reason the fact that Wilson immediately got what House meant here almost made me wheep a bit. Yes, I'm emotional.

What a great return to canon!Wilson, the manipulative bastard and the only one who really gets House. Counterpranking sounds just about perfect. So glad that this episode touched a nerve ;).

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

You can't keep a relationship with a normal person

'Duncan' says his Mom told him this in the episode, you just know that line came from House...

Glad you enjoyed it. You'll have to see the episode one day just to see 'Duncan' - he's like a miniature little Wilson (or House's version of Wilson anyway) Actually thinking about it I wonder why House gave Wilson such a perfect little kid, instead of a horrible monster of an eleven year old, to turn him off fatherhood quicker...

[sassyjumper.livejournal.com]

Agree with all the kudos everyone has already left! I love manipulative-bitch Wilson. And I'm pretty sure House does too. Thank you!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it! House likes it when someone else plays on his level, and Wilson can usually manage it, the prospect of being a father seemed to have dulled his brain.

[sara-tsuzuki.livejournal.com]

GREAT. This fic is more real for me that the last episode XD Thanks so much!!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading!

[rividori.livejournal.com]

Now this is what should have happened! Awesome job.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Well I think so :) Thanks for reading!

[jahmat.livejournal.com]

This IS how it should have gone. Manipulative!Wilson showing up House. Where have the good House writers gone?

One thing I've noticed about this show - they obviously don't have a show bible. There's little continuity in the characterizations; the characters have never been the same from year to year, let alone episode to episode. No way Season 1 Wilson would have fallen for this! They butchered the character we loved. Too bad. I miss him. {;__;}

But at least we have the great fanfiction writers, like you!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Wilson has always been able to hold his own with House, and then this episode he just totally falls for it hook, line and sinker - it seemed very OOC for him. And then he just basically shrugs and goes - okay, then. Sigh.

Glad you liked my little alternative direction for it :)

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

Just read this (following your link from Petite's page). This is so much more believable to have 'smart Wilson' show up. Why could they have not ended the episode that way? And the mother being in the restaurant is what cinched the believability for me. Would have made so much more sense.

"You bastard!" House said, pointing his cane at Wilson. "You lying, sneaking, double crossing bastard!"

"I'm the bastard?" Wilson asked, pushing the cane aside. " You're the maniac who hired an actor to play my son.

Perfectly stated, Wilson. :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Honestly, if I could figure out half way through the episode that something was wrong I'm pretty sure Wilson could.

Glad you liked it, thanks for reading and commenting :)