Fic : Okay

[menolly_au]

Title: Okay
Characters: House & Wilson
Rating: PG
Spoilers: For 8.20 - The C-Word
Words: Approx 650
Warnings: Angsty
Summary: A small missing scene from the C-Word - House does what's necessary.



Wilson lies on the hard floor of House's apartment, his body twitching with the muscles spasms that still wreck him. It is obvious to House that he isn't going to get anywhere near the bathroom. Every effort Wilson makes to move is draining his ebbing strength, and his will. After his outburst he seems to collapse back into the floor, as if all the darkness, and all the rage, that he's been holding in for so long has finally gone now that he's found a target for it, and there is nothing left to sustain him. No anger, no hate, nothing.

House looks across at him, Wilson's words are still between them

House wants for one moment to leave Wilson to it, to leave him here, on the ground in his own filth.

Wilson twitches again and his head turns towards House. His hollow eyes look out of an ashen face, dry lips working to try and form words, his pain is eating him alive, leaving nothing but the core of him, all persona gone. He tries again to move and arches his back, calling out in a scream that shatters House's hurt.

House levers himself painfully to his feet and hobbles to the supplies, picking up a clean diaper and turning it over in his hands, he'll do this because he must, and Wilson can't. He kneels down beside Wilson and tugs at his tracksuit pants. Wilson feebly bats at his hands again but his strength is fading and House gets his pants down.

He cuts the wet and soiled diaper off to make his job easier and pulls it away from Wilson's body, steadfastly putting out of his mind that he is changing his friend's diaper. Wilson is making small sounds of protests and House looks up to see that his face is wet with tears.

"It's okay," he says, the words of reassurance he hates in others coming to his lips easily, because Wilson needs them. "It's okay."

He picks up a clean cloth and carefully wipes around Wilson's ass and genitals, his hands brushing lightly over the forbidden areas, his touch as professional and detached as he can make it. They rarely touch, not even a handshake, or a clap on the back, he feels it's wrong to force this intimacy on his friend, but he needs this for himself, he needs to try and ease Wilson's distress somehow.

He puts the clean diaper on, and carefully pulls up the pants, knowing that every touch of his hands and the cloth on the sensitised skin adds to the agony. When he's given Wilson back a little of his dignity his hand lingers for a second on one hip.

"Thank you," Wilson says, his mouth hardly able to form the words, then his eyes close and for just a few minutes he's taken away from the pain by an exhausted sleep. House slumps down beside him, resting his back against the couch. He can't lift Wilson by himself, that will have to wait until Wilson can help, until he can crawl back up to the couch to endure more torment.

House closes his eyes, his own head lolling back. He'll rest while his patient rests, he'll sleep while his friend sleeps.

He'll be there when he's needed.

Comments

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

Who would ever think that an adult diaper being changed could be a love story of sorts?

I thought about the diaper thing too when I heard Wilson say at the end of the apartment stay that this time he would like to actually make it to the bathroom. That clearly said he eventually took House's help with the diaper (the marketers for those things have got to come up with a better term than 'diaper'). Reminded me of the scene in the hospital after House is recovering from his self surgery and he finally accepts Wilson's help to the bathroom.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I think Wilson must have accepted House's help in the end, or done it himself I guess, which would have been absolutely mortifying for him. Around about then I guess he was thinking he wished he'd gone for the conservative radiation treatment instead..

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

Liked the idea of House keeping himself professionally detached so that he could change Wilson's diaper. The last para is a perfect ending.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) Thanks for reading :)

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

This is a very hard hitting, very strong fic. You remind me of what Foreman said to Cameron about his parents when they were discussing love and commitment. I'm really in awe of what you did here.

Please post this to a comm!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, and thanks for the encouragement to post it the comms :)

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

I think House fully understand that it's Wilson's pain speaking when he says those horrible thingsabout House. I'm sure House himself has told horrible stuff to Stacy after the infarction, and probably to Wilson as well.
And yes, of course, he does what Wilson needs. That was for once perfect canon, making it clear that House has indeed been changing Wilson's diapers, and highlighting repeatedly that he could never have followed his original plan and done this alone.

His inability to fully help Wilson becauseof being disabled himself is justified and touching.

The last sentence, funnily enough, is precisely the advice new mothers get: rest and sleep when the baby does. Indeed in the parallel withthe POTW, Wilson is pretty much House's child for once, in a brilliant role reversal.

Thank you for highlighting this moment, which imho is a very important one. (mem)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

The last sentence, funnily enough, is precisely the advice new mothers get: rest and sleep when the baby does. Indeed in the parallel withthe POTW, Wilson is pretty much House's child for once, in a brilliant role reversal.

I must admit I was thinking during the whole thing about whether House was getting any/enough sleep, though I guess Wilson wasn't going to suddenly die (except for in that one moment) so he could have got some sleep.

Hmm - a post ep idea, they both need to get some sleep after all that and Wilson doesn't want to be anywhere near that couch again for a long time so they both go and crash on House's bed...

[brindlewolf.livejournal.com]

This fic does bring home all the reality of what transpired between them during that chemo treatment. A nice missing (of necessity) scene that further illustrates their connection. I like how you show that it can be just as strong with no slash or history of such. Sometimes I forget that their relationship could be just as strong WITHOUT any slash - lol.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I like how you show that it can be just as strong with no slash or history of such.

I've always been happy with them going either way, friends or lovers - only this year have all the 'gay jokes' started to make me think that they really should just damn well go there...

Thanks for reading :)

[rslhilson.livejournal.com]

This was a great missing scene - so well-written and very powerful.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it :) Thanks for reading :)

[3rdgal12.livejournal.com]

OMG, this was beautiful. So perfect!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it :)

[sprinkydink.livejournal.com]

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Sorry, I'm just going to be the awkward one here. This is perfect and I like this for certain reasons.

I love the tender care and intimacy. There's a closeness without it being sexual. It's just really tender and sweet that he's taking care of him in that way, doing something they'd never do, except that House was willing to do it.

It's beyond sweet and caring. I love it. Poor sick!wilson, but the hurt/comfort is amazing.

I feel like a creeper but it's great!!! I love the caretaking dynamic and House helping Wilson. I love your portrayal of House, and it holds up to the show.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thank you, really glad you liked it :) I must admit it did cross my mind to do something kinky/sexual with it but it didn't seem the time or place for it. I did think House was at his absolute best in that episode, Wilson was very lucky to have him there to help him through it (and I think Wilson realises that)

[alternatealto.livejournal.com]

There were two moments in the episode that brought me very close to bawling out loud. One of them was the line about the adult diapers; the other was when House tipped his few remaining Vicodin out of the bottle and then set them aside for Wilson when it was clear he truly needed one for himself. Those were both moments of pure and genuine love, and you bring that out so clearly in this story.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Oh, the Vicodin bit was fantastic (and also House putting one in House's mouth for him), House was at his absolute best in that episode - he's a man of extremes, he can be terrible but he can also be wonderful. I'm glad you though some of the love shines through in this story :) Thanks for reading :)

[lhoma320.livejournal.com]

I haven't posted in a bazillion years and I haven't even been on line regularly. I'm now living and working in Bahrain and I don't always get access. Thank God a friend of mine uploads the latest episode for me each week. I got to watch it and I've seen it about 3 times now. I can't tell you how happy I was to see you expound on the diaper scene. It needed something more and this was perfect. Thanks for posting this. :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

House fans seem to be spread to all the corners of the globe :) Thanks for reading, glad you liked the fic :)

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

Perfect. I get why they couldn't/didn't show this happening, but you know it must have, and this is precisely how it went.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I don't think we needed to see this happening on screen :)

Thanks for reading, glad you liked it :)

[jezziejay.livejournal.com]

I especially love that you chose House's POV here, because everything he did for Wilson was probably done for him post infarction - hopefully by somebody who cared for him as much as he cared for Wilson. And even though you don't mention House's illness, I felt like I was reading two simultaneous stories. Really lovely.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

You know, I can't imagine how House must have been after the infarction - I don't think I would have wanted to be in the vicinity!

Thanks for reading, glad you liked it :)

[aylaliadjo.livejournal.com]

A very moving missing scene. I like the comment of House's hand lingering on Wilson's hip. I wonder if that little touch is the way House has to express his true feelings for his friend. It made me think of the reversal scene in the episode, when Wilson goes to take the glass of water by the bottom and then as if he changed his mind he take it by the upper side and ends caressing House's hand. :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Oh - I'll have to watch that glass taking scene again, don't remember that :) Thanks for reading, glad you liked it :)