Fic : His Choice

[menolly_au]

Title: His Choice
Characters: Wilson, mentions of Wilson/Amber
Rating: PG
Words: approx 300
Spoilers: Up to Holding On
Summary: Wilson visits Amber and tells her his choice.

Written for the camp Sick!Wilson Transformation challenge. I've taken a lovely icon done by jahmat and turned it into a ficlet. I've also done a macro from their icon which is included at the end.



"I have cancer, Amber."

The more times he says it, the more real it seems to him. Just a few weeks ago he was an oncologist, he treated people with cancer. Now, he's nothing more than another victim. A few weeks ago he had a future, now he has this.

"I've decided... I'm not doing any more chemo. I'm terminal, the treatment would just prolong things, I'd be in pain and sick. This way I'll have five months, that's reasonable," his voice cracks on the word, it's not reasonable, it's not reasonable at all, he should have years. Amber should have had years.

He looks at the single rose he brought with him. At first he had come every week, then every month, then just on the anniversary of her death, but he's never forgotten, and he's never stopped loving her.

He kneels down and places the rose beneath her headstone.

"House is not going to like it. He'll want me to live, for him, so I don't leave him alone. He's scared, Amber, he's so scared. And I'm scared for him, because I don't know... I don't know what he's going to do without me."

The cemetery is quiet, lonely, the graves silent reminders of the people who once lived, and no longer did. People who'd thought that the world couldn't continue on without them. People long since gone.

He gets back to his feet, leaving the rose behind. His suit pants have slight stains on the knees but he doesn't care.

"You said that I have to take care of me, that I have to do what I want to do. That's what I'm doing; I'm choosing this - for me."

He brushes a hand lightly along the headstone

"I love you, Amber." His fingers linger on her name, etched into the cool stone. "See you soon."


End




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comments

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

What a wonderul and wonderfully sad story. Sheds a whole new light on Wilson's choice. If he really believes in an afterlife, why would he want to stay on Earth and suffer, when he can go and be with Amber? And yes, he feels for House, but even back then Amber was his first choice, and House got the rest.

A great fit with canon, and yet another missed occasion by tptb (who instead chose to waste second in showing us House holding an improbable blue-eyed baby and clean kitchen).

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I think Wilson might more be a person who *hopes* there's is an afterlife.

Well this scene was supposed to be in Holding On from what I understand so the time they wasted was on, oh let's think, the equally improbable plumbing disaster? Pretty sure that one could have been trimmed (or obliterated at the writing table).

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

What a wonderful exploration of Wilson's thoughts and the missing scene! It's a perfect match with the macro.

Does anyone know what's written on the bottom of her headstone?

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) jahmat did the lovely icon and I just had to do a bigger version so I could stare at it a bit more :)

As far as I can tell it says Amber Volakis, April 1980 - May 2008, You Will be Missed.

The original was posted by sheppa here

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

OMG, the perfect missing scene. Wilson always told Amber what was on his mind. This is so IC, I'm incoherent over it. Kudos.

*mems*

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it, I hadn't really made a connection between Wilson dying and Amber's death before jahmat posted their icon and yet it makes perfect sense that Wilson would go and visit Amber's grave as he tried to come to terms with his illness - I can't imagine why they cut this scene.

[sassyjumper.livejournal.com]

I think you are actually trying to kill me. :(

Seriously, though, this is so sad--and absolutely true to character, believable and beautiful.

I'm astounded that TPTB cut this AND the scenes with Sarah in favor of what? The POTW that no one gives a shit about? Sorry, I digress. But your story illustrates how much those scenes could have added to illuminate Wilson' decision a bit more. Wonderful work ♥

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thank you - glad you liked it. yes, baffling that TPTB cut both those scenes which as you say would have really helped set up Wilson's decision not to do more chemo. But, you know, they had to get those plumbing scenes in there so something had to go (rolls eyes).

[justjuly4.livejournal.com]

Good story, sounds like a missing scene. I think it was strange that Wilson didn't mention Amber during the cancer arc. Not once!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

They shot it but didn't bother showing it, you have to wonder why.

Thanks - glad you liked the story :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

I had no idea this was a scene! I knew about Sarah. It would have added so much more depth to Wilson's decision.

This was lovely. Very sad.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Yep - why on earth would you cut this scene? Would have been a good nod to continuity and as you say would have provided more background to Wilson's decision not to do chemo.

Thanks for reading :)

[jahmat.livejournal.com]

I can't believe you wrote this beautiful story from my icon! Words fail me : )

Kudos

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it and thank you for the icon that sparked it, that 'see you soon' is just a wonderful connection from the graveyard shot to the Wilson cancer arc - hearbreaking. Thanks for the inspiration :)

[rslhilson.livejournal.com]

Beautifully moving. I was so disappointed when I learned about these deleted scenes, but your fic did them justice <3

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thank you, glad you liked it :) Yes, unbelievable that they would cut those scenes :(

[stare-me-out.livejournal.com]

This is a wonderful story. I'm really annoyed that these scenes were cut but I think you did a way better job than the writers could have.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks - glad you liked it :) I do wonder what the script was to go along with the graveyard shots, or whether it was just a silent visit.

[taiga13.livejournal.com]

Lovely. I can never get enough of Wilson/Amber. Why'd they have to cut this scene, and the one with Sarah? (sniff)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it :) Yes, strange choice to cut these scenes I think.

[kathleen cummings (from livejournal.com)]

Finding out about these cut scenes burns since I had problems with Wilson's decision anyway. It didn't seem rational to me, and Wilson is a rational person. Seeing his belief in the afterlife (or hope anyway) in action, making sure that Sarah passed peacefully and not alone, these would have helped us to understand why he decided to do (and not do) what he did. Your story definitely helped fill in the gaps. Maybe it'll be on the DVD.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think the Sarah scene and the cemetery scene would have helped fill in the progression in Wilson's train of thought that led to him deciding to have no further treatment, as it is it does seem a bit sudden.

Thanks for reading and commenting :)