Fic : Perils of Paranoia Redux

[menolly_au]

Title: Perils of Paranoia Redux
Characters: House & Wilson
Rating: PG
Spoilers: For Perils of Paranoia
Words Aprox 1150
Summary: A rewrite of a scene in Perils of Paranoia to add a little angst to it :) Wilson's actions have an unexpected consequence.

A/N - Thanks to damigella_314 for having a read through and getting rid of extraneous full stops and spaces.





Wilson let himself back into House's apartment and quietly walked over to the bathroom. Just as he had planned - the door was shut, and the door knob was on the ground. House was locked in the bathroom. Outsmarting House wasn't easy, but when he did it the victory was very sweet indeed.

He grinned as he kicked the door knob aside and bent down to peer through the keyhole.

House was looking through the hole at him and after a moment conceded Wilson's triumph.

"Touché."

Wilson smiled to himself as he set to work scanning House's apartment with the metal detector. It wasn't that he particularly cared about whether House had a gun hidden here or not, but it was a good game. He loved engaging House in a battle of wits, and subterfuge, well at least when it wasn't aimed at something he really wanted to keep to himself. House also had a nasty habit of uncovering all of Wilson's secrets, like that stupid porno film he'd made in college. But this was fun and, as screwed up as it might sound, it was a return to normality for both of them. House had won the battle of the boxing tickets; Wilson was going to win the battle of the gun.

Besides, he owed House for the net trick, he'd nearly had a heart attack when that net had closed around him and he'd been swept into the air. And House had been an ass about it of course. House had made him beg to be let down. Locking House in the bathroom for a while was a nice little bit of revenge.

He was in House's bedroom, having just found his tennis racquet, which for some reason had been under House's bed, when he heard the handle on the door that led to the bathroom rattle. Odd, House must be trying the lock, but that would have been the first thing he tried when he found himself locked in, why would he be trying it again? He walked over to the door and stood near it, listening. He thought he heard some other sounds and, puzzled, he called out.

"House? You okay in there?" Who knew what House was up to? He was probably planning his revenge. Maybe he was fashioning some sort of weapon from whatever was in the bathroom, ready to spring it on Wilson when he opened the door.

There was a quiet pause and then House answered, his voice flat. "Let me out of here."

Just that, no snark, negotiations or threats. Wilson frowned and quickly unlocked the door, opening it to find House very close to it. He took a quick look around but saw no traps. House brushed past him, limping quickly into the bedroom, not looking at Wilson.

"Did you find anything?"

Wilson stared at House's back. "No, well I did find my tennis racquet - I can't imagine why you had that."

"Get out then."

"Why, are you scared that if I keep looking I'll find the gun?"

"I don't have a damn gun!" House shouted, turning around to face Wilson. His whole posture was tense, wrong somehow. As if he was angry about being locked in the bathroom, but that didn't make sense. House knew that it was part of the game. He never got angry about practical jokes. Even when Wilson had filed his cane in half he had only laughed. "Get out, or do you want to do a cavity search first?"

Wilson stared at him, confused by the anger. Then he looked at House's hand, it was trembling on the cane, knuckles showing white as he gripped the thing. The words - cavity search - echoed in his brain. He glanced at the bathroom, it was small, and he'd locked House into it. House had told him, not long ago, I spent a month in solitary .

He looked again at House and saw the tucked in shirt, he'd worn all his shirts like that since coming back from prison, something he would never have done before. Had it been required while he was in the prison? He saw the bracelet on his wrist, which House had never explained or mentioned, and the bulky outline of the monitor strapped to his ankle. House was still in prison, it was just that there were no iron bars. If Wilson did find a gun, and anyone else found out about it, House could be locked up again. Wilson had told House that it wasn't his problem if House was sent to prison, and it wasn't, but he didn't want it to happen. He'd only just gotten him back.

They hadn't talked about prison at all. Not that House was the type to talk about anything, but Wilson had never asked. He hadn't wanted to think about everything that had happened. When he'd punched House that first day he was back he'd wanted to clear the slate. To put all that behind them. But what if it was something that House couldn't put behind him quite as easily?

"House..." he rubbed at his neck, how could he raise this with his friend? He couldn't ask him, flat out, whether being locked in the bathroom had brought back unpleasant memories. House would never answer honestly.

"I give up," he finally said, throwing his hands into the air theatrically, a gesture of surrender, of conceding the game, "you say you don't own a gun, you don't own one.”

House peered at him, almost warily, as if expecting a trap.

"You're giving up an opportunity to prove that I'm a big fat liar? Who are you and what have you done with Wilson?"

"Hey, I've done all I can here, I didn't find a gun. Short of tearing the plaster off the walls I'm going to have to take your word for it."

House was still staring at him suspiciously, and then he slowly nodded. "Could have saved yourself a lot of time if you believed me in the first place. So you admit I win?"

"Yes, you win. You were right."

"Good. Then you're buying the pizza."

"Of course," Wilson sighed. Good thing he'd found his money clip while he was searching House's closet. There was a twenty still left in it by some miracle. House smirked triumphantly and limped towards the door. While his back was turned Wilson kicked the tennis racquet back under the bed. He didn't need it, and apparently House did.

House finished ordering the pizza as Wilson walked into the kitchen. They both grabbed a beer and went to their usual places on the couch in front of the television.

Wilson clinked his beer bottle against House's. "To paranoia."

They both drank deeply and Wilson sighed again as he relaxed into the couch. He rolled his head to the right to look at House.

"You moved it didn't you?

House smiled happily, "Oh, yeah."

End

Comments

[jahmat.livejournal.com]

Poor House! Being locked in a room as small as his solitary cell was! You really like to make him squirm, don't you! Your "Thirty Days of Solitary" wan't enough? Meany!

Seriously, this was very angsty. Well done!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Hey, I didn't lock him in the bathroom, that was those damned writers :) But yeah, I do rather like giving House a hard time :) Glad you liked it, thanks for reading!

[petitecuriosity.livejournal.com]

OMG. YES. I LOVE THIS.

My sister hasn't seen the last few episodes of Season 8 and has been making me watch them with her. I've been drudging through the episodes so it was nice to find this little slice of perfect fic pie. (Any angst beats the angst of the end of Season 8.)

I like the fact that you've illustrated Wilson's perceptiveness when he notices House's silence, and finds that odd given the fact that House would have likely attempted to unlock the door in the first place. I love that he can tell from House's tone, from his lack of threats or anything of that nature that something is off.

I love how you've mentioned the details of House still being in a prisoner's state of mind; the suggestion of a cavity search, the fact that his shirts have all been tucked in...brilliant use of canon!

I like the way you've illustrated Wilson's concern, the fact that he can't bring up what's happened, and his way of showing sympathy is conceding, of giving in. And the detail of Wilson kicking the tennis racket back under the bed is lovely; it's really illustrative of Wilson's acceptance and understanding of House, and how he seems to understand that many individuals deal with pain in their own way. Perhaps his years as an oncologist has made him sensitive to that?

The end is perfect and hilarious and incredibly IC. It also flows really well with canon, that sort of awkwardness that existed between them at the beginning of Season 8 when House was returning, finding it easiest to focus on pranks and joking, rather than the seriousness of the fact that House spent a year in jail.

And this line I heard perfectly in Wilson's voice: "Hey, I've done all I can here, I didn't find a gun. Short of tearing the plaster off the walls I'm going to have to take your word for it."

I haven't gotten a chance to yet, but I've been dying to read your "Thirty Days of Solitary."

I'm thrilled to see that you are still writing for House.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I've never been able to talk my sister into watching even one episode of House :( To be fair I don't watch most of her shows either...

I'm glad you liked the ending because I really struggled with that, the guys didn't seem to want it to end, they just wanted to sit on the couch all night.

I'm glad you liked Wilson in this, this fic was originally going to be from House's POV but it went better from Wilson's. I think wilson decided, when House came back, that he was going to concentrate on the fun parts of his friendship with House, rather than the finger waggling, lecturing, parts - from memory we saw very little of that in season 8 - well, up until the great angst fest at the end of course.

Thanks for reading and your lovely review, made my day :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

You haven't read "Thirty Days of Solitary" yet??? Get reading!

[sassyjumper.livejournal.com]

Oh, interesting take on that situation! And it's an idea that would probably never have occurred to the writers (or me, admittedly) -- But of course it makes sense that House would have a problem with being stuck in an enclosed space. And a perfect ending -- I could totally see/hear them there :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

When doing some research for Thirty Days there was constant reference to how spending time in solitary was like 'being locked in your bathroom for twenty three hours a day' - the comparison stayed with me, hence this :) Glad you liked the ending, I struggled to find one (and a title but I gave up on that :)

Thanks for reading!

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

This puts a whole new spin on that episode. Any chance House will actually talk to Wilson about his time in solitary?

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I'd like him to - but the trouble is that these guys don't exactly talk to each other about serious stuff (well, I think Wilson would be willing to do so). There would have to be some sort of circumstance to bring it about I think.

Thanks for reading :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

Love this story. I couldn't imagine what it was going to be about. And it was sooooo satisfying. I also loved the bit about the tennis raquet (and the money clip). It made perfect sense that House would be deeply upset by being locked in the bathroom. Both were IC. (So Wilson to bring in a metal detector. He really does love House.)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it :) Wilson had the metal detector in the episode and I must admit I wonder where he got it from, I can't imagine he had one lying around handy :) Thanks for reading!

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

Love the story and I can relate to how House was feeling. (Luckily I've never been in prison but i do have claustrophobia.)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it - must admit I always wondered how House fared after his ordeal with Hannah, being under all that rubble would be enough to give me nightmares! Thanks for reading!

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

A very nice edition to canon. I always find it strange on the show that sometimes House is extremely sensitive and moody and other times everything is treated like a joke. I like the way you seamlessly bridge the two here. :)

I miss them.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks - glad you liked it - yes, House did have changing moods on the show, although I think as the seasons progressed some of the deeper moments got buried by the jokes.

I miss them too :( I was just thinking that it would normally be getting time for the new season to start - and we would all be wondering how they would write themselves out of the cliffhanger form last season. Imagine if they had to come up with a ninth season now, they'd have some fancy footwork to do :)