Fic : Making A List

[menolly_au]

Title: Making A List
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: R for smutty talk and a little language.
Spoilers: None
Words Approx 600
Warnings: None
Summary: Wilson wants to find out what House likes and disikes. A dialogue fic.

A/N - Inspired by a line in the excellent story - Foreign Tongues by sassyjumper as follows : Wilson, true to his people-pleasing heart, had done his level best to make House happy in bed. Lots of furtive glances during the act, followed by post-sex surveys—“Did you like that last swirly tongue thing?”



"This really isn't necessary, Wilson."

"Communication is the Key to a Successful Relationship, House."

"You've been reading Cosmo again, haven't you?

"Ten Ways to Keep Your Man Happy in Bed. Number one is to talk about his likes and dislikes."

"Likes - sex. Dislikes - talking about sex. Can we go now?"

"House, neither of us have had the best success with relationships. I want this to last, I want it to be different."

"Wilson."

"Yes, House?"

"That was very touching."

"Thank you."

"Seriously, I'm crying little manly tears over here."

"If you've finished mocking me can we get on with this?"

"I don't know if I'm finished yet, but okay, let's do this. I'm in your hands. And when I say hands I mean----"

"Okay, I think that's enough. Let's start. Now, for example, I want to know if it bothers you when I do this?"

"This?"

"Yes."

"When you put your arms around me and squeeze? On planet Earth we call that hugging, Wilson."

"We never used to do it."

"We never used to share bodily fluids either. We're men; men don't hug each other unless they're fuck buddies, or unless they're Chase."

"So, hugging is okay?"

"Hugging is definitely okay. You're making an actual list?"

"And checking it twice. What about if I do this?"

"It's a little...oh! argh, ugh... ooohhh. Yes! Nipple sucking is fine."

"Great. Both, or just the one? Do you have a preference for right or left? Teeth or no teeth?"

"We may have to experiment with that a bit, in the interests of scientific accuracy."

"Okay, well I'll put it down as a general 'yes' for now and get more specific later, I don't want you to get too distracted. Now, let’s move lower. How about this?"

"Okay - well that tickles, it's a bit weird."

"Weird in a good way or a bad way?"

"Weird in a 'why is Wilson licking my abdomen way'."

"We'll mark that one down as a no then. Now, how about I go a little lower..."

"Yeah, that's good, better... Oh My God! What did you just do with your tongue???"

"You mean this?"

"Oh, the swirly thing! Do it again! Now!"

"..."

"Put that one down and put a star next to it, go for broke and make it two stars. With a smiley face."

"Excellent! You're doing great, House. Just a few more. How about this?"

"Yes!"

"And this?"

"Yes!"

"And what about this?"

"Hell, yes!"

"House, you can't just say yes to everything."

"I can't?"

"It's important to have preferences."

"Maybe you should do them all again so I can rank them in degrees of hotness."

"Later, there's still a couple of things I want to try. Now how about if I do this...and then I do that..."

"Wilson..."

"Yes, House?"

"If you keep doing that, and then touching me there this whole thing is going to be over with sooner than you think."

"Hold on, House. We have a lot more to get through. Now, let's see, what haven't I done? Oh, I know. How about ..."

"Holy Shit! Oh, I'm going to ... Wilson.... oh, yes. YES! Ahhhh!"

"Oh, damn. Well, I guess you really liked that one."

"..."

"We'll have to continue later. We haven't even talked about toys yet."

"Wilson?"

"Yes, House?"

"You're not really making a list are you?"

"Seriously? No. How anal do you think I am anyway?"

"I don't know. Do you want to find out?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

"Pass me the clipboard and roll over."

End