Fic : Making A List

[menolly_au]

Title: Making A List
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: R for smutty talk and a little language.
Spoilers: None
Words Approx 600
Warnings: None
Summary: Wilson wants to find out what House likes and disikes. A dialogue fic.

A/N - Inspired by a line in the excellent story - Foreign Tongues by sassyjumper as follows : Wilson, true to his people-pleasing heart, had done his level best to make House happy in bed. Lots of furtive glances during the act, followed by post-sex surveys—“Did you like that last swirly tongue thing?”



"This really isn't necessary, Wilson."

"Communication is the Key to a Successful Relationship, House."

"You've been reading Cosmo again, haven't you?

"Ten Ways to Keep Your Man Happy in Bed. Number one is to talk about his likes and dislikes."

"Likes - sex. Dislikes - talking about sex. Can we go now?"

"House, neither of us have had the best success with relationships. I want this to last, I want it to be different."

"Wilson."

"Yes, House?"

"That was very touching."

"Thank you."

"Seriously, I'm crying little manly tears over here."

"If you've finished mocking me can we get on with this?"

"I don't know if I'm finished yet, but okay, let's do this. I'm in your hands. And when I say hands I mean----"

"Okay, I think that's enough. Let's start. Now, for example, I want to know if it bothers you when I do this?"

"This?"

"Yes."

"When you put your arms around me and squeeze? On planet Earth we call that hugging, Wilson."

"We never used to do it."

"We never used to share bodily fluids either. We're men; men don't hug each other unless they're fuck buddies, or unless they're Chase."

"So, hugging is okay?"

"Hugging is definitely okay. You're making an actual list?"

"And checking it twice. What about if I do this?"

"It's a little...oh! argh, ugh... ooohhh. Yes! Nipple sucking is fine."

"Great. Both, or just the one? Do you have a preference for right or left? Teeth or no teeth?"

"We may have to experiment with that a bit, in the interests of scientific accuracy."

"Okay, well I'll put it down as a general 'yes' for now and get more specific later, I don't want you to get too distracted. Now, let’s move lower. How about this?"

"Okay - well that tickles, it's a bit weird."

"Weird in a good way or a bad way?"

"Weird in a 'why is Wilson licking my abdomen way'."

"We'll mark that one down as a no then. Now, how about I go a little lower..."

"Yeah, that's good, better... Oh My God! What did you just do with your tongue???"

"You mean this?"

"Oh, the swirly thing! Do it again! Now!"

"..."

"Put that one down and put a star next to it, go for broke and make it two stars. With a smiley face."

"Excellent! You're doing great, House. Just a few more. How about this?"

"Yes!"

"And this?"

"Yes!"

"And what about this?"

"Hell, yes!"

"House, you can't just say yes to everything."

"I can't?"

"It's important to have preferences."

"Maybe you should do them all again so I can rank them in degrees of hotness."

"Later, there's still a couple of things I want to try. Now how about if I do this...and then I do that..."

"Wilson..."

"Yes, House?"

"If you keep doing that, and then touching me there this whole thing is going to be over with sooner than you think."

"Hold on, House. We have a lot more to get through. Now, let's see, what haven't I done? Oh, I know. How about ..."

"Holy Shit! Oh, I'm going to ... Wilson.... oh, yes. YES! Ahhhh!"

"Oh, damn. Well, I guess you really liked that one."

"..."

"We'll have to continue later. We haven't even talked about toys yet."

"Wilson?"

"Yes, House?"

"You're not really making a list are you?"

"Seriously? No. How anal do you think I am anyway?"

"I don't know. Do you want to find out?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

"Pass me the clipboard and roll over."

End

Comments

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

Very funny! I have lots of favorite lines:

Communication is the Key to a Successful Relationship, House. The caps make that one. He's quoting magazine articles. :)

Seriously, I'm crying little manly tears over here. Best House snark in ages.

Oh, damn. Well, I guess you really liked that one. Awesome reaction!

Pass me the clipboard and roll over. The perfect ending.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it, especially the last line because an ending for this one was really elusive for a while there :)

Thanks for reading!

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

Oops! I forgot to mention my most favorite part of all, which was manipulativebitch!Wilson. There wasn't a specific line for that, and so I got sidetracked. Some days I have the attention span of a --hey! Look at that!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

LOL ! - *every* day I have that sort of attention span - I blame the internet personally :)

We seem to be having a run of mainpulativebitch!Wilson lately, I'm getting rather fond of him :)

[flywoman.livejournal.com]

Very cute! I especially liked

"Likes - sex. Dislikes - talking about sex. Can we go now?"

We're men; men don't hug each other unless they're fuck buddies, or unless they're Chase.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it, and thanks for reading :)

[sassyjumper.livejournal.com]

Ahh, I love it! So funny and completely IC - from Wilson consulting Cosmo, to House saying "yes" to everything. And great last line ;)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it - thanks for the inspiration!

[sassyjumper.livejournal.com]

Forgot to say: Thanks for answering the question of whether House liked the swirly tongue!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Who wouldn't like the swirly tongue? It sounds amazing :)

[rslhilson.livejournal.com]

LOL! This was fantastic. I'd start quoting favorite lines but I'd end up with a replica of your fic in the comment box :) What a perfect follow-up to sassyjumper's piece.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it :) Thanks for reading :)

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

Some of my favorite lines were already quoted, and really, the whole fic was hilarious and hawt. I won't take any extra space except to say kudos! :D

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it :)

[mrsdelle.livejournal.com]

Finally got a LiveJournal account so that I can comment on your awesome stories! This one is really sweet - I especially loved the hugging part! House being comfortable about their new relationship status is just so cute. :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks and welcome! Glad you enjoyed the fic, thanks for reading and commenting :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

This was really funny! Now I have this image of House and Wilson lolling around in bed with Wilson holding a clipboard...not a bad image to have in my head!

Thanks!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it :) Naked Wilson with clipboard, yes that is a nice image :)

[rockhummer.livejournal.com]

Very nice image indeed. I would love to see it :)

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

every line was great, you're on a roll!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yeah, I was planning on trying to get some of my WIPs lurking on my hard drive finished but I keep getting distracted with new ideas :)

[nyannyannayn.livejournal.com]

Very hot and very funny. Is that even a valid combination? Lets say YES!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Hot & funny sounds good to me :) Thanks for reading !

[discofunction.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! I love it! Witty, great banter-just perfect xxx

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for reading :)

[pinigir.livejournal.com]

Loved it! :-D

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it :)

[rockhummer.livejournal.com]

Swirly thing :) it was lovely! Wilson and his talented tongue :) Awesome story, made my day happier and brighter. Thank you for writing it

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks ! Glad you liked it, thanks for reading :)