Fic : Why Julie Doesn't like Green (and how House knew about it)

[menolly_au]

Title: Why Julie Doesn't like Green (and how House knew about it)
Characters: House & Wilson
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Only if you care about Julie's colour preferences, in which case you're already spoiled by the title.
Words Approx 960
Warnings: None
Summary: Ever wonder how House knew that Julie didn't like the colour green (from Fidelity)? Well, this is why.

A/N This came out of a conversation with yarroway in the
Dropped Plotline Challenge #2 Post and the central plot device was their idea :)





House paused in his rendition of Danny Boy as he heard a knock at the door of his apartment. He'd alienated all his neighbours to the point where they wouldn't bang on the door even to tell him to stop playing, so there was only one person that knock could belong to. It came again and he mentally catalogued it - it didn't quite have the desperate cadence of 'House, my patient has died and I need to drink and collapse unconscious on your couch'', but it wasn't the confident, "House, you've done something stupid and I've come to lecture you' knock either. Instead it sounded a touch exasperated. Hmm, interesting.

The knocking was getting insistent so he pushed himself up from the piano bench, went to the door and opened it, catching Wilson in mid-knock, a scowl on his face.

"About time," Wilson grumbled and walked in like he owned the place. In the hand that hadn't been knocking at his door was a bunch of flowers, fairly wilted, which he thrust at House. "Here, have some roses."

For one split second House's heart skipped a beat as he stared at the flowers. Did this mean? No, apparently it didn't, as Wilson was explaining.

"Green roses. It's St Patrick's Day so I got her green roses."

"Who?" Wilson scowled at him but it was a fair question. Wilson wasn't known as PPTH's panty peeler for nothing.

"Julie, my wife, you remember her? She certainly remembers you."

"Julie celebrates St Patrick's Day?"

"No, but she mentioned once that her grandmother had Irish blood," Wilson waved an arm around vaguely. "I thought she'd appreciate some commemoration of the day. A thoughtful gesture, she's always complaining that I don't make an effort anymore. So I thought, well, green roses. They're not easy to find, you know."

House could imagine. Tracking these down would have been both difficult and expensive. What he didn't know was why Wilson was here and not moving on to stage two of his plan - having 'my husband is such a great and thoughtful guy' sex.

"I gave her the roses and she took one look at them and threw them back at me."

"Thorns?" House hazarded a guess, his mind supplying a comforting image of Julie's perfectly groomed hands being pricked, multiple times, by the thorns on Wilson's roses.

"No, apparently Julie hates the colour green," Wilson said, his expression bewildered. "Hates it with a passion. She says it's the vilest colour on earth. That no-one with taste could like that colour, and well, several other things." He grimaced; the memory couldn't have been good.

"Getting her green flowers was a master stroke then; did you want to piss her off?" House observed. Mentally he filed Julie's aversion to the colour green under the heading 'Wilson Wives - things that annoy them'. Could be useful information one day.

Wilson thrust both hands up in the air, in a 'stop, don't shoot me!' gesture. " I didn't know! When she was choosing a dress once apparently she told me that she didn't like the colour green. I was supposed to remember that, and not buy her green roses, or anything green, ever."

"Still doesn't explain what you're doing here," House said. "Just throw the crappy green roses away."

"Ho no, it's not that simple. My not remembering all the details of one casual conversation from three years ago apparently means that I'm a lousy husband and I don't care about her."

"You are a lousy husband," House pointed out.

"Thanks House, that's just what I wanted to hear." Wilson slumped down onto the couch. "I'm staying here tonight. I brought beer." He gestured vaguely to a bag which he'd dropped on the ground earlier. House went over to investigate it, throwing Wilson's green roses onto the coffee table as he passed. They weren't really green anyway, more of a white with pretensions of grandeur. Julie was a moron. He pulled out a bottle of the beer and peered at it suspiciously.

"It's green," he pronounced. Who the hell made green beer? "Did you get these for Julie as well? Because then I could see why she kicked you out."

"O'Reilly in radiology was giving them out to everyone today."

"She didn't give me any."

Wilson craned his neck around to stare at House. "After you wiped the entire schedule for the week off her computer because you wanted to get your patient in, and then you blew up the machine? I can't imagine why she didn't give you beer." He made a grabby sort of gesture with his fingers and House threw him the beer which Wilson almost caught.

"You're not going to drink that are you?" House asked, his attention was fixed on the bright green beer visible behind the glass.

For answer Wilson popped the top and drank a long satisfying gulp of it. He smiled gleefully. "Why not, unlike Julie, I like the colour green."

House shrugged and joined him on the couch, flicking the television on with the remote. He grabbed one of the bottles and clinked it against Wilson's.

"To St Patrick's day." He took a long drink. Yeah, that wasn't bad. You don't know what you're missing, Julie , he thought.

Some hours later, when there was a respectable line-up of empty beer bottles on the coffee table, and the roses had been destroyed in an impromptu game of football, House surveyed the sleeping Wilson. He was crashed out on the couch, one arm dangling over the side and a silly drunk smile on his face. House turned the television off and went to the hall closet to fetch Wilson's blanket. Wilson's green blanket. He dropped it over him.

Wilson looked good in green.

Comments

[sassyjumper.livejournal.com]

Hee, loved every bit of this! Starting from House's DDX of Wilson's knocks -- And I do believe even Wilson's door-knock could sound exasperated ;)

The dialogue was so sharp and funny -- Great job!

And what's Julie's problem, anyway? I wouldn't mind "being pricked, multiple times, by the thorns on Wilson's roses."

[valn.livejournal.com]

Seconded!

[discofunction.livejournal.com]

"being pricked, multiple times, by the thorns on Wilson's roses."



LOL! This made me laugh so hard I have tears in my eyes! and yes I too wouldn't mind multiple pricking from Wilson's roses...

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks - glad you liked it :) I'm sure Wilson can do an exasperated door knock with no problems, he's had a lot of practice:)

Julie doesn't know what's good for her :) Luckily - how different would the series have been if Wilson had stayed married I wonder ?

[discofunction.livejournal.com]

Brilliant fic! Nicely done-very witty and just...well excellent! and I agree with House, Wilson does look good in green! (stupid Julie...)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

In my 'research' for this I gazed at a few dozen 'Wilson wearing the green tie' photos - he looks mighty fine in that episode I must say :)

Thanks for reading, glad you liked it :)

[nightdog-barks.livejournal.com]

Aw, this is so much fun! St. Patrick's Day, and green roses, and green beer -- it's wonderfully inventive and silly but with a warm, warm heart. ♥

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! yarroway came up with the green roses explanation and I just ran with the theme :) Glad you enjoyed it :)

[rslhilson.livejournal.com]

Hee! Perfect dialogue. Julie really doesn't know what she's missing.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yes, Julie is an idiot :)

I wonder if there's ever been a character never seen on screen who's been in so many fics as Julie :)

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

House so gets Wilson--right down to the cadence of his knocks... except...For one split second House's heart skipped a beat as he stared at the flowers. Did this mean?... when his lusting heart overtakes him.

Love it! ♥

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yes, House did allow himself to hope for one moment there :)

[pinigir.livejournal.com]

Loved it! Loved House's appreciation of the Wilson + green combination. :-)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it - House did seem awfully taken by that green tie in the episode :)

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is so nicely done. Light but with more depth than one might expect, and the bits of Houseian lust/longing are understated and perfect.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it :) Thanks for reading :)

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

Sorry to comment so late--it's a holiday weekend and we have company. This was lovely and it fit what we saw to a T. Your use of the green theme is perfect, and the little moment where Wilson gives House the roses was so wistful. I adore what you did with our plot sketch.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) Glad you liked it, your green roses explanation was inspired I thought :)

[annalully.livejournal.com]

Heh, I now need to know all about Julie's Very Traumatic Moment with the color green! Maybe some giant, ugly, green insect crawled up her cleavage - that's the most traumatic thing I can think right now...

Loved the hopeful/lustful moment, too. For me it was the key point of the fic. And the green roses, which weren't really green - such a thoughtful touch from Wilson!

Very fun explanation for a random and somehow odd information that House had about Julie's preferences.

By the way, green is my favourite color and Wilson does look good on it!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

LOL - I didn't come up with some rational explanation for Julie's loathing of the colour green, but I like your theory of the giant ugly green insect crawling up her cleavage :)

Wilson looked very hot in that green tie I thought :)

Thanks for reading and commenting !

[resm.livejournal.com]

Cracker haha! Bonus points for the boys liking green/Wilson in green - 'tis my favourite colour!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

I don't mind a little green myself :) Thanks for reading :)

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

I tried to post a comment here yesterday but LJ ate it. :(

Anyway, I really liked this. Its a great little background piece and cute too. I especially like House's inner commentary about Julie and Wilson. The last line is perfect.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Damn LJ, I have a thingo for Firefox that saves what you've typed in and retrieves it if gets lost - that has saved me a lot of retyping!

Glad you liked the fic, it was a fun one to write :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

I saw this a few days ago and finally tracked it down! Excellent little story, as always. Green roses, huh? I wonder what Julie thought of all of those olive green shirts Wilson wears on his off-time? Did he buy them just to piss her off?

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Maybe her hatred of the colour green doesn't extend to shades? "That's not green, you idiot, it's olive, that's perfectly all right." :)

Thanks for reading :)