Five Times Wilson Murdered Someone

[menolly_au]

Written for the dark_wilson open conversation prompt - murder.

Title: Five time Wilson murdered someone (and two more because he couldn’t stop at just five) and one time he didn’t (well not yet anyway)
Characters : Everyone
Rating: R ?
Spoilers - for most of season 5 to date

8 drabbles of 100 words each

Summary - Well, you know, five times Wilson murdered someone etc...
 

 

 

Thirteen was the first one. Really she has just been annoying since the day she arrived, slinking around the place, thinking she was just oh so mysterious. Between the Huntingtons, and the ridiculous love affair with Foreman (Foreman!) the whole hospital had become obsessed with her. Even House seemed to be caught up in the madness (foreteen he calls it). She had to go. She was found flat on her back in bed, her body swimming with a toxic mixture of prescription drugs, a pair of Foreman’s boxers clutched in her hand (Wilson had always fancied himself as being artistic)
 

Foreman was unbearable after Thirteen’s death. Oh, the usual smug expression never left his face and Foreman grieving looked much the same as Foreman celebrating. But there was an air of martyrdom and suffering about him that left Wilson in a rage. There was only room in the hospital for one tragic boyfriend and Wilson held that spot. After he whined one too many times about being unable to find another job (and really how hard could it be, neurologists weren’t exactly in overabundance) Wilson made his plans. Foreman was stabbed with a contaminated needle (Cameron would appreciate the irony)

 

Really, he had tried to be happy for her. Helped with cradle shopping, brought her giant stuffed ducks. First she wanted a baby, then she had a baby, then she lost a baby, then she found another one (it’s a Christmas miracle!) . Then she didn’t want the baby, then she did want the baby, then she didn’t want to leave the baby....Then the tripwire, what sort of psychotic maniac puts down a tripwire for a limping man? (Sawing a cane in half clearly doesn’t count). Cuddy was found face down in the babies bath water - the baby was spared.

 

Wilson had never been fond of Chase. There was the whole betraying House thing. He caused House to seize during the deep brain stimulation procedure (it must have been Chase’s fault because Wilson would never harm House). Really though it was his hair that was the last straw, every time he saw him lately the hair was longer, greasier and more unkempt (and stubble didn’t look good on him). It seemed fitting that he was found sprawled on his back under a bridge. Cameron was bereft afterwards. Wilson gave her a comforting hug (or two), she was soft in his arms.

 

Taub was just boring. And short, and balding, but mostly just boring. He cheated on his wife, well Wilson had been there and done that (and he didn’t get a new car for it). Now he was wanting a baby too - what was it with the people in this hospital and babies? Well Wilson couldn’t face another round of the baby saga so Taub had to go. He supposed there was something fitting about a plastic surgeon being burnt beyond recognition. Taub’s wife was pretty though (and obviously forgiving), he wondered if she would like a comforting hug too.

 

Kutner had seemed like fun when he first came, setting people on fire and electrocuting himself. He’d been a lot less entertaining lately though, thinking he knew better than House. The only person who was allowed to lecture House was Wilson. Kutner had a fairly unfortunate incident with a defibrillator, luckily the patient survived. It came out at the funeral that Kutner had a string of juvenile offences for assault. If he had known that Wilson might have spared him a bit longer. Well, at least he wouldn’t have chance to bond with Rachel (they were both orphans after all)

 

Cameron was last. After the comforting hugs (and the grieving partners sex with Wilson) had finished she started to look in House’s direction again (buying him lunch, bringing him drugs and pretty blue file folders). Maybe he will decide that she is damaged enough for him now (two dead partners being one more than Wilson). They never do find her body. (Wilson has a pretty pair of pink scrubs hanging in his closet). The emergency department is run by a fifty year old male doctor. House never goes near it now (though he stares at every blond woman passing by).

 

House likes it better without all the extra people. They were distracting him, with their torrid love affairs, their fatal diseases and their crying babies. He thinks it’s a bit odd, them all dying like that (when he sees Wilson smiling to himself at Cameron’s funeral he wonders why). He spends most of his time with Wilson now (the man appears to have no work of his own to do). One day he finds Wilson playing with a gun, long fingers stroking it. Wilson says it is for self defense. House believes him, after all Wilson is the good guy.