Fic : Picking Up the Laundry

[menolly_au]

Title:Picking Up the Laundry
Words: 924
Rating : G
Spoilers : For the general storyline of the first couple of episodes of season 8
Characters : Wilson, Foreman
Warnings : None
Genre : Humour (hopefully!)
Summary : When House embarks on a campaign to win back Wilson's friendship Foreman discovers that Wilson isn't quite what he seems. A more light hearted look at the current situation :)




"Doctor Wilson, a word with you?" Foreman entered Wilson's office, closing the door firmly behind him. Wilson was sitting behind his desk busily writing away, although Foreman couldn't see what he was working on. Foreman made a mental note to put aside some money in the next budget to buy the poor guy a computer.

He did a double take as he came further into the room. It seemed like half of the available floor space was taken up by an enormous fruit basket, which seemed to have beer bottles coming out of it at odd angles.

"Foreman, what can I do for you?" Wilson looked up at him genially, a polite smile on his lips.

Foreman poked at the fruit basket, discovering an expensive bottle of whiskey lurking at the bottom, and a magazine on restoring barns of all things. He pulled it out, wondering if there was porn lurking behind the innocent cover, but no, it was a magazine on restoring barns.

"Where did this," he waved his arm at the lavish basket, "come from?"

"It just appeared there this morning, no note on it."

"And these..." Foreman nodded at two large movie posters, complete with glass frames, propped up against the wall. One was for The Green Mile, the other for the Shawshank Redemption.

"They came yesterday. No note on those either." Wilson's expression was bland and pleasant, but Foreman wasn't fooled.

"House?"

"Almost certainly."

"Why is he sending you gifts? I thought you two weren't friends any more?"

"He's 'winning me back'. Monday's gift was two tickets to the monster truck rally next weekend. On Tuesday he sent Doctor Adams to my office with instructions to tell me that I could do anything I wanted with her, she was my slave for the day."

"Okay...you know that's not legal don't you?" Foreman was imagining a sexual harassment suit being filed as they spoke, he didn't appear to be immune from normal employment laws as Cuddy had seemed to be, he'd have to email her and ask her what her secret was one day.

"And Wednesday he did my clinic hours," Wilson finished, ignoring his question. "He's also done some research for a paper I started writing while he was...away, and obtained some notes on some trials being conducted at the Mayo Clinic which I'm sure nobody outside that hospital is supposed to have access to. On Thursday there were two hundred balloon animals all over the children's oncology ward."

Foreman stared at him, astonished. "He must really want to be your friend again."

"Apparently he does." Wilson smiled fondly. "He had his hair cut short this morning, I told him once he looked good with a buzz cut."

Foreman looked at Wilson's fairly short hair cut but refrained from mentioning it.

"And when do you think you might forgive him and be his friend again? Sometime before hell freezes over or the twelve drummers drumming appear in the lobby?"

Wilson smiled, "what makes you think I haven't?"

"You've forgiven him?"

"Of course."

"So, why aren't you friends any more?"

"Who says we aren't?"

"Well, you did...wait, you're playing him?" Foreman stared at Wilson who kept on smiling, a satisfied look on his face. "You're stringing him along...but what about your wrist? He nearly ran you over!"

Wilson shrugged. "Of all the things House has done to me over the years, that was barely a blip on the radar. No big deal. It's not like he was trying to hurt anyone, he was just having a bad day."

Foreman shook his head. "It seems a bit...mean," he finished weakly. He couldn't believe he was paying any consideration to House's feelings and it seemed that neither could Wilson, he raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"If I forgave him straight away he'd think it was suspicious and spend the next six months looking for the catch. This way he'll think he's earned it and relax."

"And in the meantime you get all these..." Foreman waved his hand at the room.

"Hey, monster truck rally tickets, those are hard to get. As soon as I 'forgive' him he'll be back to his usual asshole self - might as well get something out of the deal while I can."

Foreman stared at him, before realising that his mouth was hanging open in a manner not in keeping with his new elevated status in the hospital. He'd known Wilson for years but had always mentally dismissed him as the dumb but loyal friend, as cuddly as a teddy bear and about as harmless. It seemed he was wrong.

"Was there anything else, Foreman?"

Foreman shook his head wordlessly, he couldn't even remember why he came here.

He left the office, only to fall over something on the floor just outside the door. Lying on the ground, he looked around to see a flock of pink flamingos lined up along the corridor. They were in pairs, one half of each pair was dressed in a little labcoat and tie, the other one had a cane attached to its wing. When he looked up he caught a glimpse of a scruffy doctor limping quickly out of sight.

Foreman let his head drop back down to the carpet with a thud. He had the feeling that this was going to be a very long year.

Comments

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

After all, it would be tragic if House's knowledge were lost when his career ended

Yes - absolutely! Once again apparently Diagnostics was completely disbanded when House was 'gone' why? Had Chase not learnt anything in 6-7 years under House? (similarly when House was in Mayfield, and the department was shut down). Okay, they may not have had House's spectacular success rate, but surely would have better than nothing...rant, rant...sorry :)

[lit-luminary.livejournal.com]

Agreed! Why should they have done that? There was the implication of financial reasons, but seven years with House (I count the one spent playing Diagnostics' personal surgeon) should have taught Chase enough to keep things going. In terms of PR, finances, whatever standard you want to measure by, it would have been better than shutting the department down altogether. (Cuddy kept it open for Foreman when House was ostensibly quitting; why shouldn't Chase have been given a chance this time?)

And anyway, textually, canon has established that Chase is the go-to for creative angles when House is indisposed; the writers should have taken that and run with it.

[blackmare.livejournal.com]

Maybe Chase was still the go-to guy but didn't want to stay and be a department head. He might have been offered it and not wanted it, for any number of reasons. Unlike Foreman, he's never seemed particularly ambitious.

[lit-luminary.livejournal.com]

Point taken. Chase values doing his job well, but he's never been interested in climbing to a more prestigious position. Still, I would like to know he was offered it, at least, for the sake of fairness and acknowledgment that he's learned a great deal in the last seven years.