Fic : Personality Types

[menolly_au]

Title: Personality Types
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13 - mentions of sex but no action.
Spoilers: Vague references to events in the seventh season.
Words Approx 700
Warnings: None
Summary: Wilson tries to get House to take a personality type test. A dialogue fic.

A/N - Inspired by a post made by barefootpuddles . Questions taken from here.



"Okay, question one..".

"Tell me again why I'm doing this?"

"We've been over this. Psych is doing a survey of the doctors in the hospital to identify what personality types they are so they can reach out to the staff and facilitate better communication between departments."

"They need a one hundred part questionnaire to tell them doctors are arrogant, self absorbed assholes?"

"They don't need a questionnaire to confirm that you fit that description..".

"So I don't need to do it..."

"... but there's more to your personality than that..."

"No, that's pretty much all there is."

"... all the doctors are doing it. Your staff have all done it."

"My staff?"

"Your minions, your slaves, your loyal subjects, the morons that work for you. Whatever term you prefer."

"You think that telling me that those idiots have done this stupid test will make me want to do it?"

"Not really, no. So what would be enough incentive for you to stir yourself to answer a few harmless questions so other people can know what makes the great Greg House tick?"

"Sex."

"Sex? That's it? Okay, I think I can manage that."

"Not just wednesday-night-bored-and-nothing-on-tv sex, but awesome mind-blowing sex. I want the neighbours banging down the doors."

"I don't do anything but awesome, mind-blowing sex, and the neighbours will get a night to talk about for the rest of their life. Okay, let's get on with..."

"And you have to wear the..."

"House! I told you I'm not wearing that again, it's embarrassing. And besides, it itches."

"Maybe you can get Taub to take the test again, I'm sure there's fifty shades of boring you can categorise him into."

" (sigh) Okay, okay. I'll wear it, but you have to answer all these questions honestly. You have to take it seriously."

"I'll take it as seriously as I took my medical boards."

"(mutters) That's what I'm afraid of. (deep breath) Okay, question one. Which of these two options describe you best : A) I have been an hospitable person and have enjoyed welcoming new friends into my life or B) I have been a private person and have not mixed much with others?

"Easy, that's A. Now give me a hard one."

"A? You enjoy welcoming new friends into your life? Seriously?"

"I welcome a lot of new friends into my life - they just don't last long."

"I have no idea why that would be. I'm putting you down for a B. Now, question two. Generally I have been a) methodical and cautious or b) adventurous and taken risks "

"A."

"You can't just keep saying A."

"I'm very methodical and cautious."

"You jumped off a balcony on the sixth floor into a swimming pool!"

"That was an aberration."

"You took an experimental drug and operated on yourself in your bathtub!"

"I methodically took an experimental drug and cautiously operated on myself in the bathtub. "

"(Sigh) I'm putting down a B. Question 3. I've been a) A bit cynical and sceptical or B) Mushy and sentimental. Don't even try and tell me B."

"I'll have you know I have a deep and sensitive soul. I'm a very caring person. I cried at the end of Bambi."

"So that's an A then."

"If you're not going to let me answer the questions why exactly are we doing this? You might as well just fill them all in yourself."

"Excellent idea. Give me a minute."

"......."

"......."

"So, what personality type am I?"

"Type ten. An arrogant, self absorbed asshole."

" I was right, as always. Let's have sex."

"Okay."

".... Wait. You already knew I wasn't going to take that test, didn't you?"

"........."

"So why did you go through all that?"

"........."

"You knew I was going to ask for sex in return."

"Did I know you were going to be a jackass about taking the test? Yes."

"You know, saying 'House, I want to have sex tonight' would have been a lot quicker."

"But not as much fun. Besides, you're forgetting what my personality type is."

"Arrogant asshole?"

"No, number eleven. Manipulative bitch."


End

Comments

[damigella-314.livejournal.com]

LOL! That was so funny, and totally IC on top of that. My only problem with this is that we're left wondering what exactly Wilson is going to wear. Maybe something from this NSFW online seller?

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Hah - I thought you'd come up with some appropriate thing for Wilson to be wearing :) That site - oh my!

Of course, I'd prefer something more like (NSFW) this ;)

(And now the comments are rating higher than the fic ;)

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

That works for me. :)

[petitecuriosity.livejournal.com]

SEQUEL! (That is, of course, if you want to write one. ;) )

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

ZOMG! I want that guy for my wallpaper. My cats want that guy for my wallpaper. YESSSS! *incoherent with lust*

[yarroway.livejournal.com]

What a treat to see a new fic from you! It was fun and IC and I loved it.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) Glad you enjoyed it :)

[sassyjumper.livejournal.com]

LOL, I love it! The dialogue was perfect, and Manipulative Bitch Wilson just answering the questions himself was awesome.

(I am curious as to what W will be wearing. Clearly, a smutty sequel is in order.)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it - I think Wilson knows House well enough by now that he can easily answer those questions for him :) I wonder if he was honest on his own test...

Dami found a nice website with some suggestions on what Wilson might be wearing up there in the comments ^^

[valn.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And thanks for reading :)

[rslhilson.livejournal.com]

That was wonderful! Completely IC and so much fun to read. This is exactly how I love to remember House and Wilson :) Thanks for the great banter!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Yes, as much as all the angst is good it's nice to have them just hanging out and having fun :)

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I wanna know what Wilson was wearing too.
I LOLed at House calling taub 50 shades of boring. Right on, House!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Dami had a good suggestion in the comments :)

Thanks for reading, glad you liked it :)

[readingrat.livejournal.com]

Oh, this had me grinning. Very funny!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks ! Glad you liked it :)

[petitecuriosity.livejournal.com]

Oh my goodness. This is absolute perfection. Complete, utter perfection. I could hear the entire thing. Better than that, I could see the entire thing, with just the dialogue alone; the mannerisms, the gestures, the facial expressions. I love the fact that Wilson tricked House into offering an exchange of sex for answering a personality test. I love the fact that Wilson wanted to keep things interesting, and especially after House's comment about boring, Wednesday, nothing on TV sex, it's clear that Wilson is well-aware of House's needs.

I actually had to stop reading before continuing at the "fifty shades of boring" line because I was laughing so hard.

And the end line is so perfect, Wilson as manipulative bitch, and clearly this fic illustrates that Wilson fits that particular type. :) I loved House's "methodical and cautious" argument for his trying an experimental drug in the bathtub. I love the way you've written House as sarcastically answering the questions, Wilson feigning irritation, and House eventually figuring out the truth.

And the way you've written Wilson is absolutely phenomenal. I think that sometimes writers tend to forget Wilson's sharp wit when they are writing both House and Wilson, but you have them playing off of one another in a way that's absolutely amazing and could seriously be canon. This...right here...is my favorite line.

"I don't do anything but awesome, mind-blowing sex, and the neighbours will get a night to talk about for the rest of their life.

Just...I can't even.

Your fic seriously made my day. *mems*

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it. Oh yeah, Wilson is every bit House's equal when it comes to snarky humour, he keeps up with House all the way.

Thanks for the graphic too - so funny :)

[srsly-yes.livejournal.com]

Tremendously funny! Thanks for the smile *mems*

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) Glad you liked it :)

[cuddyclothes.livejournal.com]

This is delightful. I agree with petite, so many people forget that Wilson is witty! I just saw "Family" and "Resignation" (the one where they drug each other) and their interplay is fabulous...like this fic.

Also, that second pic...rawr!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah - I sometimes forget myself. Yesterday I was round my sisters place and her son was watching some random 4th season episode of House ( a season I mostly dislike) and there was Wilson bantering away and lighting up the screen, I just found myself smiling at it :)

Thanks for reading :)

[flywoman.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha, awesome! Especially Wilson's punchline at the end.

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you liked it and thanks for reading :)

[jezziejay.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember when House and Wilson used to be fun. Good times! Thanks for resurrecting them :)

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

It was fun to get back to something a bit more light hearted than thymomas and dying :) Thanks for reading!

[jahmat.livejournal.com]

*flop* Owwww...now I have to pick myself up off the floor. That was so much fun! Thanks for the giggles! Wonderful dialogue! Big GRIN!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it, it was fun to write :)

[barefootpuddles.livejournal.com]

That was great.. I could hear them perfectly.

"You took an experimental drug and operated on yourself in your bathtub!"

"I methodically took an experimental drug and cautiously operated on myself in the bathtub. "


A line like that could be right out of the show.

And I agree with you completely - House and Wilson are in number categories all by themselves!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

It belatedly occured to me that I should have asked you if you minded if I springboarded off your discussion post so I'm glad you liked it :) Thanks for reading !

[sara-tsuzuki.livejournal.com]

LOL Cool!

[menolly-au.livejournal.com]

Thanks!